


Hands are Bound, Hearts are Free

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: After care, Angst, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Dom/sub, Fluff, Gentle Dom Merlin, Harry and Merlin are BFFs, Harry lives and is arthur, Humour, M/M, Sex, Spanking, Sub Eggsy, Undercover Mission, Voyeurism, a mission leads to love, dub con, eggsy's previous experience was 50 Shades level bullshit, in the sense that all this has to be done for a mission, just like in movies, so much sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:02:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4723556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new club has opened in London and the Kingsman don't care about what people do in their private lives. But they do care when they get information that secrets are being traded in the private rooms, ones that could shake the foundations of the realm. They need to go undercover into the club, but it is a BDSM club. Merlin has decades of experience as a dom and while he doesn't generally do field work, he's the best suited for the job. The only other agent though who has any experience though as a sub is Eggsy. Before they can hit the club, trust needs to be built, a backstory created, and well, as Eggsy says, "yeah, yeah, you wail on me for awhile, then do me and then we stop the bad guys. Easy." Of course it's not that easy, and Merlin steps back into the roll of trainer, only with a very different outcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Setting the Scene

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, but I couldn't stop myself. I needed gentle dom Merlin soooo badly.   
> Also I've hit a bit of a wall on some of my deanbenny stories, so burying myself in my other OTP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short little prologue

Merlin sat in front of Arthur's desk as Arthur read the files. Not that they had changed since he read them for the first time a week ago.

"No." Harry said finally.

"Yes." Merlin replied calmly. "The intel we received is from a reliable source. Secrets are being funneled through that club Arthur, secrets that could cripple the nation. They have to be stopped."

"Not by you." Harry insisted.

"And why is that? We both know I'm almost as good in the field as I am behind my desk." Merlin crossed his arms.

"You are too valuable to the Kingsman, to just be let out there in an undercover mission." 

"Do you have anyone else who's even capable of pulling this off?" Merlin quirked a brow. "Harry you might not like it, but you know as well as I do, this club can smell outsiders. I'm many things, but an outsider, nae." Merlin held up a hand to stop Harry. "We both know that my two key subordinates are ready for more work, more responsibility - ye just signed off on it not a week ago. This is a one to two month mission, in town, where in a pinch I can be brought in. Sir, this needs to be stopped, and I'm your best shot."

"I don't care for the fact that you are correct." Harry adjusted his shirt sleeves. They both ignored the slight tremor in his left hand. It, along with a nasty forehead scar were the only lingering after effects of Valentine's bullet.

"Oh, don't be a baby, you can live without playing bridge for a couple months."

Harry glowered at his friend of almost 30 years. "I am concerned for your safety and the fact that should you die in that godforsaken hole, the Kingsman will be left crippled."

"Harry, I'll be fine."

"Your back up will see to it." Harry grinned. He had had a brilliant idea while going over Merlin's notes.

Merlin hated that grin. He still had a scar and a tattoo on his pelvis from Prague thanks to that grin.

"I'll be going in alone, a dom looking for a new sub."

"Correction. You will be taking your new sub to the establishment to show off."

"Harry, I currently don't have a sub. And I certainly wouldn't have one that could handle a situation like this."

"Luckily," Harry continued with that smile that was never very lucky for Merlin, "we have an agent who has experience as a sub. I've debriefed them and they are happy to work with you."

For a moment Merlin held out hope that it would be Roxy, she listened to him, was trainable, smart, calm.

"Hey guv, I hear you're going to be smacking me up and fucking me raw on a stage or some such. This is crazy yeah?" Eggsy had barely knocked before strolling in and running his mouth off. "Do I get to wear a lot of leather? Oooh will ya put me on a leash? Or how about handcuffs? Or like girl underwear?" Eggsy kept rambling on.

"Make him stop." Merlin begged Harry.

Harry just kept that horrid grin on his face.

 

 


	2. Unlearn What You've Been Taught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Eggsy settle into their fake lives.

Both men had gone their separate ways and agreed to meet up at the flat that the Kingsman had rented out for their cover in a few hours. Merlin arrived first and put his stuff away. It was a nice space, a two bedroom plus office, old building but newly redone. It spoke of affluence but not extreme wealth. It suited the backstory that Merlin had created for himself.

He had stuck close to the truth an engineer and tech wizard who held a few key patents on certain microchip designs. Enough money that he could freelance as he chose, not enough that he should have ever really been noticed. And just enough to afford the upkeep of an adoring young sub.

Merlin disliked it when Harry messed with his plans, but in their decades of working together, Harry had never actually been wrong. Not that he had ever admitted that to Harry, the man was insufferable enough as it was. And having back up wasn't a bad thing. He knew Eggsy was a strong fighter, and a quick thinker, but he had no idea what this 'experience' he had was. Tonight was going to be the lovely and awkward sexual history conversation. To that end, Merlin decided to make some lasagna.

It was bubbling away in the oven when Eggsy came in. The young man sniffed the air and groaned happily. 

"That's smells amazing."

"The master bedroom is the one on the left. Put your stuff away and come back. Dinner will be ready in twenty."

Eggsy paused, "We're sharing a room?"

"Of course, we are lovers are we not?" Merlin quirked a brow. 

"Sure, not a prob." Eggsy hurried out.

Merlin remembered that Eggsy hadn't really done a lot of undercover work in his year and a half with the Kingsman, not anything beyond a dinner party or gala. He made a note on his tablet to kill Harry when all this was over. He went to the kitchen and pulled out the lasagna and poured himself a glass of red.

When Eggsy walked in Merlin held up the bottle and Eggsy nodded. They took plates to the table and ate in silence. Merlin watching stunned as Eggsy burned through 3 pieces. So much for leftovers.

Eggsy leaned back in his chair and groaned. "Okay, might have overdone it a little. That's the best I've had, which company makes that one then? I'll have to stock up on it."

"I made it from scratch." Merlin replied. Eggsy looked confused. Merlin thought it best to move on. "Perhaps we should move to the living room. I think we need to have a long and uncomfortable conversation tonight."

Eggsy stumbled into the living and flopped face down on the sofa. Merlin watched him realize that had been a dumb move on the full stomach. Merlin sat himself in a chair as Eggsy slowly rolled himself up into a sitting position.

"So do you wish to discuss our cover story, sexual histories, or hard/soft limits first?" Merlin asked.

"Cover story, start easy. I read the file on your story, talked with Harry some about it." Eggsy groaned. "You shouldn't have let me eat that much."

There were so many ways that Merlin could respond to that statement, but he left it alone for now.

Eggsy settled into the couch, "I was thinking, for something like this makes sense to stick to the truth at least a little, so I'm a chav yeah? Maybe I was working at a coffee shop you went to, or a bar and you liked the look of me. Eventually someone asked someone out and now I live with ya and you're paying for college for me in the mean time?"

Merlin thought about it, it was a solid idea. "And what would you be studying."

"Literature."

"Would you be capable of discussing books that might come up?" Merlin asked. There was no negative tone, just a simple question.

Eggsy shrugged a little, "Libraries are free ain't they? When mum needed quiet, or needed me out of Dean's face good place to hide, temperature control, lots to do, cost naught more than a bus ride."

"What are a couple of your favourite books?" Merlin was curious.

"Dunno, have a bunch of things I like. John Donne's poem are cool, religious but like sexy too yeah? Neil Gaiman's Sandman, Slaughterhouse Five, Frankenstein. Lots of stuff."

"So perhaps we'll say your studies focus on speculative fiction, science fiction, the like, with a secondary interest in poetics?" Merlin smiled. Harry was right the boy was full of surprises.

"Sounds good, what's my name?" Eggsy asked, "Can't be Eggsy or Galahad and fuck if you'll be calling me Gary." Eggsy pouted, he hated his name so much.

"What would you like?"

"My middle name is James. My Dad used to call me Jaimie, I'd remember to answer to that." Eggsy replied finally.

Merlin could work with that, "My name is Duncan."

"Cool." Eggsy nodded a little. "And we should start using the names now yeah? Get used to them and all that, right?"

Merlin nodded in agreement. He then moved the conversation along. "So that's covered. Now sexual history."

Eggsy winced a little, "Wot, you need to know everything?"

"The highlights will be enough, how do you describe your sexuality? Have you ever had any diseases? Sexual partners, what exactly is your sub experience?"

"You first." 

Merlin smiled a little at the petulant tone. "I've had 6 sexual partners, all male. I consider myself gay. I've never had any diseases. Four of those 6 relationships involved a dom/sub dynamic with myself as the dom."

"Only six? But you're like what? 50?"

"Thank you. I'm 48, 49 in five weeks." Merlin said dryly.

"Sorry, guv. Not really sure about numbers, been some hook ups and the little at the bar so let's say about a dozen? Don't really care about the bits, I think you're fit, I'll play on the field. Had crabs once, that's it though. And subbed for a couple guys. One from the estate, and one I met at the library actually. I like older guys a bit."

Merlin watched as Eggsy looked him up and down. "You seem fit enough under those sweaters, shouldn't be too hard to pretend to like it with you." He winked. Merlin knew he was just trying to get a reaction.

But Merlin just quirked a brow and stood. He pulled off his sweater and folded it neatly. He undid the cuffs of his shirt and then the front buttons. He slid it off and folded it on top of the sweater. He watched as Eggsy took in his firm stomach, the ropes of muscle in shoulder and arms. He watched Eggsy follow his fingers down to his belt buckle. Merlin smiled as Eggsy's mouth dropped open as Merlin pushed his trousers and pants down, stepping out and pulling socks off. He added the clothes to the pile and then stood full nude in front of Eggsy.

"Am I fit enough for ye?" Merlin stood there arms hanging at his side.

Eggsy just nodded, unable to speak.

"Good." Merlin sat back down, not bothering to dress.

"Um, aren't you going to get cold?" Eggsy asked.

Merlin smirked a little, "No lad, I run hot."

"Yeah, you do." Eggsy muttered under his breath. "Do you need me to um?" Eggsy couldn't really complete a thought.

"I trained ye, remember, I've seen you naked plenty. I will have no problem enjoying your body." Merlin crossed his legs, watched Eggsy's eyes follow the movement. "Now what are your hard and soft limits?"

"Say wha?"

Merlin sighed and snapped his fingers. "Eyes on my face Jaimie, focus on me." He used his more serious training voice, instead of the warmer tone he had been using.

Eggsy blinked and finally dragged his eyes up, "Yes sir." 

Merlin smiled at the response a bit. "Good lad, now hard and soft limits?"

"No bathroom stuff. No blood, nothing permanent yeah?"

"And soft?"

"What do you mean soft?" Eggsy was a little confused.

"Things that you aren't okay with in full, but may consider pushing your boundaries on a bit when we are comfortable with each other." Merlin waited.

"Never had those." 

Merlin took a breath, "Because you didn't have any, or were never given an opportunity to think about them?" He watched Eggsy shrug. "Jaimie, tell me a typical sub experience for you from start to finish. What was the feeling you had, did you get off, what was the aftercare that best suits you?"

"After care?" Eggsy paused. "Oh you mean like the guy dropping me back at the estate instead of just telling me to jump out of the car?"

Merlin stared at the young man in horror. He could see Eggsy getting defense.

"Look, I get how it works, I'm a 'naughty boy' you punish me, maybe I get to get off, you definitely get off and then I go home until next time. It's not that complicated."

"And you think that's how all dom/sub relationships work." Merlin's tone was flat.

Eggsy shrugged a little, "I know there are differences, some people like different things. The one guy liked me in high heels, the other liked spanking me, had me call him Daddy. Didn't hate it."

"But did you like it?" 

"That's not really the point is it?" Eggsy was quiet. "I like to make people happy." He looked at Merlin. "Doing that stuff made them happy."

"You like to please, to serve. I know you like being praised, that was easy to figure out from training." Eggsy turned a little red at Merlin's matter of fact tone. "Tell me Jaimie, would you like to call me Daddy?"

Merlin could see Eggsy rushing to answer. "No, Jaimie. Think, not about what I might want, but what you need. Would it turn you on to call me Daddy?"

Eggsy shook his head no. 

"Hard or soft limit?"

"Soft." Eggsy finally said.

"Good lad." Merlin smiled at the flush that rose on Eggsy's cheek at the praise. "It seems that we have a week to have you unlearn everything you knew before and settle you into being my sub. I'm changing my plans for tonight. I will send you some links to read tonight and tomorrow I want you to present a proper hard and soft list and I want to know your safe words. Likewise I want you to be able to tell me what you enjoy, what you would like from me. I'll do the same for you."

Merlin stood, "Jaimie, I expect you to be in our bed in three hours. What you do until then is up to you. Stay in, go out. The only thing I ask at the moment is that you don't masturbate. Your pleasure from now on occurs at my will. My desire."

"What happens in bed tonight? What happens if I am not in bed in three hours?" Eggsy was clearly nervous, but also curious.

Merlin walked over and leaned down, caged Eggsy into his chair. "Nothing, we go to sleep, become accustomed to being next to each other."

He could see the hint of disappointment in Eggsy's face. "But in the morning, if you have come to bed on time, and haven't touched yourself after reading the links and watching the videos I send you, if you like, I will wake you up sucking you off." Merlin leaned in even closer, whispered into Eggsy's ear, "would you like to come down my throat Jaimie?"

Merlin turned and left the room without looking back.

Exactly two hours and fifty seven minutes later Eggsy crawled into the bed with a hard on pushing against his pajama bottoms. There was a wet spot.

"How the hell am I supposed to go to sleep like this?" Eggsy was whimpering, he was aching for release.

"You'll manage." Merlin was reading on his tablet.

Eggsy curled into a bit of a ball facing Merlin.

"I could just rub it out."

"You could, that would be easier." Merlin reached down and started to run his free hand through Eggsy's hair, letting his warm palm rest on Eggsy's neck. The fingers soothed tight muscles. "But, Jaimie, I'd be very disappointed. I would like very much to wake you up with my mouth on your cock, I would love to taste you, feel you get hard between my lips, the way you would arch as you woke up to the sensation of pleasure." The fingers kept running through Eggsy's hair, "Can you be a good lad for me, and just hang on until morning?"

Eggsy held his breath, let it out slowly, steadily. "Yeah. I can do that."

Merlin smiled down at him, "Good lad. Now just close your eyes, be at ease." 

Merlin watched as Eggsy relaxed under his hand. Merlin hummed gently as he read and soon Eggsy had drifted off. Merlin settled into sleep.

He was very much looking forward to waking Eggsy up.

 

 


	3. Pleasure and Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that if I left out the morning blow job there would be a mutiny. So let some sexy times commence :) And Eggsy learns something about Merlin

Merlin's internal clock woke him up at 6am just as it did most mornings. And for the last 18 months he had woken up alone. But this morning there was the sound of breathing, the weight and warmth of another man beside him. Merlin grinned. He had a promise to keep.

He sat up and looked at Eggsy. The lad was sleeping on the his side facing away Merlin. Eggsy looked even younger in sleep. He brushed a hand down Eggsy's bare arm, watched as the lad shifted a bit. Merlin pushed gently and soon Eggsy was sprawled on his back. Merlin let his gaze linger.

There was a large difference watching Eggsy on a camera feed, or when he had been in front of Merlin shivering drenched from the drowning test. Merlin reached out a fingertip not quite touching a light pink nipple. Merlin wondered if he could convince Eggsy to get one of the nipples pierced in the next day or two. But then he dismissed the thought, body piercings took too long to heal. Still it was a shame. Eggsy would look incredible with a small bar through the left nipple. 

Merlin shook the thought off and pulled the sheet away. Eggsy's legs were sprawled and in the night his pajama bottoms had slipped low. Merlin longed to bite at one of those hip bones. He shifted on the bed and settled between Eggsy's legs. The bite could wait a little bit. Merlin undid the drawstring and loosened the waistband even more. He could feel Eggsy starting to shift towards waking. He didn't try to pull the pajamas completely off, instead eased the waistband down enough to see the root of Eggsy's cock. He reached in and pulled Eggsy's dick and balls out, the handling already causing the length to fill.

Merlin rested his forehead briefly on Eggsy's hips, taking a moment just to breathe. Having a new lover's cock in his mouth for the first time was always a cherished moment for him. He lay a gentle kiss on the tip. He felt Eggsy start to move about more. Merlin got comfortable between Eggsy's legs and sucked the tip of the lad's cock into his mouth. His tongue flicked at the tip and his lips moved down. He could feel Eggsy getting longer, fuller in his mouth. Merlin hummed in pleasure as the cock grew heavier on his tongue. He slowly began to bob his head up and down.

He felt Eggsy's hips begin to move and braced an arm across him. Merlin was in charge here. As his head pulled back up, he made sure that his tongue dragged firmly over the veins and flicked the tip. He then eased back down. Merlin had seen Eggsy naked and he had seen Eggsy masturbate (all the candidates did at some point if they had a second alone) and had seen Eggsy fuck a princess. All those views had been lovely, but this was so much better. Eggsy was long and thick, bigger than Merlin. Merlin was enjoying every second of this moment. He sank all the way down and swallowed, his throat tightening around Eggsy's cock.

"Oh holy fuck you weren't joking." Eggsy said as he finally woke all the way up. "Shit bruv, this might be the best wake up ever."

Merlin raised his head and pulled off of Eggsy's cock. "If you are capable of that much conversation I'm clearly slacking off." He winked at Eggsy and never taking his gaze off the young man began to suck in earnest. Eggsy reached down and laughed a little when he realized there was no hair to grab onto. Instead his hands began to tug on the sheets. Eggsy shut his eyes and tilted his head back.

Merlin grabbed one of those hands and squeezed. Eggsy moaned as Merlin's mouth stilled. He opened his eyes and looked down at Merlin who was looking at him. Merlin squeezed his hand again and Eggsy got the hint. Eggsy nodded and kept his eyes glued on Merlin. Merlin hummed a little and started bobbing again.

The men never broke eye contact until Eggsy said, "Oh god, now please." Merlin raked his teeth just barely at the root of Eggsy's cock and that was enough and Eggsy threw his head back and came.

Merlin swallowed every drop. As Eggsy got his breath back, Merlin indulged his earlier desire and bit hard at one of those hip bones. 

He moved up the bed beside Eggsy and smiled at the dazed look on the lad's face.

"I'm going to shower, once you can remember your name, could you prepare us some tea and breakfast."

"Guh." was the noise Eggsy managed.

Merlin strode to the bathroom, ignoring his own erection for now. He was happy to wait. He knew the wait would be worth it.

*****************************

Merlin took his time in the bathroom and dressing in trousers and a sweater. He could smell some bacon frying. He made his way to the kitchen and saw Eggsy at the stove wearing sweats and a t-shirt. The small bistro table was set with plates and the teapot. It looked lovely. Merlin took a seat and Eggsy brought over a couple serving trays with bacon and eggs, toast and some fruit.

"Thank ye Jaimie, this looks wonderful. I seem to have worked up an appetite." Merlin was surprised to see a bit of a flush rise on Eggsy's cheek. Eggsy was hovering by his chair. "Is there a problem lad?"

"No." Eggsy said. He still didn't sit.

"Jaimie." Merlin's voice was firmer.

"Am I allowed to sit?" Eggsy looked at him. "We've like started our cover yeah? So I'm supposed to kneel or something aren't I?" He looked so nervous.

Merlin swore internally at the men Eggsy had been with. "Jaimie, I'm not a 24/7 Dom, at least I never have been. I do not require anything at breakfast unless we had prearranged a scene. Sit with me. Enjoy breaking your fast."

Eggsy snorted at the old fashioned phrase, which had been Merlin's intent.

They ate in silence, Merlin aware of all the glances Eggsy kept giving him. After he finished, Merlin started to collect the dishes, but Eggsy swatted him away.

"I'll do it. I don't mind. With a dishwasher it's quick anyways. Have another cup of tea. I know you need at least three in the morning." Eggsy moved away. Merlin sat back with his cup and watched Eggsy move around the kitchen.

Eggsy finished and Merlin suggested that he go have a shower and take some time for himself and that they would have a conversation after that.

Eggsy nodded and disappeared.

Merlin grabbed his secure phone and called into the office. Into Harry.

"Fuck ye for saying he has experience." Merlin said into the phone without so much as a hello. He could practically hear the eyeballs rolling in Harry's head.

"He did have experience." Harry argued. "No way did that boy lie to me. He wouldn't. He couldn't."

"His idea of after care is if he got a drive home. He didn't know about soft limits. One blow job and he's ready to kneel at my feet." Merlin hissed into the phone. He could hear the shower running.

Harry kept a neutral tone. "Well to be fair, your blow jobs are earth shatteringly good."

"You haven't had one in a dozen years."

"And yet they are the standard to which I hold all other blow jobs." Harry was grinning that stupid grin of his, Merlin just knew it.

"Harry. He can't handle this." Merlin said quietly. 

"Yes, Merlin. He can." Harry said seriously. "He is a kingsman, he has saved the world. Yes he needs more guidance than we thought, but he can't ask for better than you. He can do this. You can do this." Harry's voice was sure, confidant. It was the voice that Merlin always kept faith in.

"I'm still going to kill you." Merlin said.

"I'll update my will."

"Do not leave me Mr. Pickles." Merlin insisted.

"Too late." Harry hung up.

Merlin put down the phone and puttered about the living room, finally settling onto the sofa and reading on his board. Eventually Eggsy came out in jeans and a top. 

Merlin smiled, "Looking good Jaimie."

Eggsy didn't reply as he had hoped. Merlin noticed that he had a piece of paper in his hand.

"Ready for our talk then, are ye?" Merlin asked.

"Yes Duncan." Eggsy said. He went to a chair opposite Merlin.

"No lad, share the sofa with me. We don't want distance for this conversation. Eggsy nodded and joined Merlin. He was clutching the paper so tightly.

"Jaimie." Merlin paused. "Eggsy. There is still time to pull out of the mission. I can go back to my original cover story."

Eggsy lifted his gaze and had that stubborn look on his face. "I can handle this. I'm a good agent."

"Yes. You are a good agent. But this is something different and if you can't relax we're blown right from the start." Merlin explained. 

Eggsy took a deep breath in and let it out. Merlin watched his chest rise and fall. Watched some of the tension fall from his shoulders. "I can do this Duncan." Eggsy's voice was calmer, more certain.

"Very well. I'll not ask ye again though Jaimie. From this point on we are committed to this story." Merlin cautioned.

Eggsy understood.

"Now then have your hard limits changed any?" Merlin asked all business.

"No gunplay. No sensory deprivation. Like don't tie me up and blindfold me. I always want one thing kept free." With their jobs, this was something that Merlin could well understand. Merlin waited but Eggsy seemed done.

"My hard limits line up very similarly." Merlin explained. "Also no non-con role play."

Eggsy tilted his head in confusion. "No rape role play." Merlin added. Eggsy looked relieved.

Merlin left that look alone for now. "And soft limits."

Eggsy just shrugged.

"Jaimie. Tell the truth and shame the devil."

Eggsy snorted out a laugh at that. "I think this conversation's all devil don't you?" Still he relaxed even more. "I don't want to call you daddy. No feminization. It's okay, but never did anything for me. No other players unless we absolutely have to." Eggsy seemed to stall out. He took a breath, "extreme edging, and fisting."

Merlin smiled, "good lad." He watched that little grin come over Eggsy's face. "You're such a good boy. I know this was hard for you, but you deserve to be treated well." That lovely blush grew on Eggsy's face. "Now what about what you would like?"

And he watched that blush fade, watched Eggsy close up. "Is it really that hard lad to tell me what you do want?"

Nothing. Merlin leaned over and touched Eggsy for the first time since the morning's blow job. "Jaimie, just tell me what would satisfy you."

Merlin was almost blown back as the Eggsy shaped bomb exploded off the couch. "Will ya stop with this bullshit already. Are ya a fucking dom or ain't ya? What the fuck do my wants matter in this. You do what you want and I follow. That's it, that's how it's done. Why are you trying to confuse this all up? What are ya thick or something. Cut the sharing crap already and just get to the spanking or fucking or whatever comes next." Eggsy was breathing hard by the end of the rant.

"You get one last chance Jaimie." Merlin said sternly. "What do you want?"

"Ugh, you're fucking useless at this. No wonder you've banged so few people, who could put up with this pansy ass bullshit." Eggsy went to storm off. Before he could get more than a couple of paces, Merlin was somehow standing in front of him. All of a sudden Eggsy remembered how bloody scary Merlin was. And how Eggsy had to tilt his head up to look the man in the eye. "Um, look I didn't --" Eggsy began to stutter.

"Jaimie. Sit your ass down. Now." Merlin didn't shout, his voice was in fact deadly soft.

Eggsy stepped back until his legs hit the sofa. He thumped down hard and swallowed. "Look --"

"No." Merlin said he moved until he was standing in front of Eggsy, who at this angle had to crane his neck back to look up at Merlin. "You don't talk anymore today, not even to whisper in my ear." Eggsy gulped a little. Nodded. He wouldn't admit that he was scared. And he certainly wouldn't admit that he was turned on.

"I gave you a task for the day and you were unable to complete it, through your own decisions and actions. That disappoints me." Merlin's voice stayed quiet and stern. Eggsy flinched. "Now here is what is going to happen. I will speak. I will occasionally ask you a question. You may nod or shake your head. But if so much as one word crosses your lips until I say it can, you will not enjoy the consequences. Is that all clear Jaimie?" Merlin waited for Eggsy's nod.

"Good." Merlin left the room and brought a kitchen chair back in. "Sit there." He pointed and Eggsy moved over to the hard back chair. Merlin settled himself into the sofa. "Do you know what I like Jaimie? I like to tie men up. I like to see rope wrapped around their body, dark hanks against pale skin. I like to see wrists bound to headboards, ankles chained together. I like to be in charge of another's pleasure, for them to be helpless to everything but what my touch can bring them. I want a lad to kneel at my feet not because he is inferior to me, but because I love to run my hand through his hair, touch the nape of his neck. I like to give orders, not to watch a person fail, but to watch them succeed. I don't set unreasonable limits just to be able to punish. Would I get hard spanking your gorgeous ass? Yes. But only because I think you want it, would enjoy it. There is no satisfaction in hurting you Jaimie just to hurt you. What would have my cock weeping as my hand struck your flesh would be your moans of pleasure not of agony."

Merlin paused for a moment. "Jaimie when I ask what you enjoy, it is because it is because I want you to enjoy what we are doing. I do not want you to kneel because you have to, I want you there because it is what you desire, crave, need." He watched as Eggsy shuddered at the words. He knew the lad was hard in his jeans. Merlin leaned forward and grabbed the arms of the chair. Yanked it closer to where he was sitting.

"Would you like to serve? Fetch tea, cook dinner?" Merlin asked.

Eggsy nodded.

"Would you like to dry me after a shower, lay out my clothes?" 

Eggsy nodded again.

"Would you like to kneel for me Jaimie?" Merlin's voice was soft

Eggsy paused but Merlin was patient, waited for the nod.

"Would you like to do that kneeling naked?" Merlin was curious.

The nod was quick to come this time.

"Would you like to be tied up Jaimie?" Merlin said quietly.

Eggsy nodded. Bit his lip to hold words in.

"Would you like to be spanked?" Merlin asked, voice husky, brogue thick. "Would it make ye happy to feel my hand across your ass?"

Eggsy nodded. He hung his head a little, ashamed perhaps.

Merlin cupped his jaw and straightened his head. Looked him dead in the eye. Eggsy was relieved to see no censure in the gaze.

"Would you like me to use you for my own pleasure? Perhaps have ye warm my cock while I read a book or watched a movie?"

Eggsy's cheeks were red, his breath heavier. He nodded quickly.

"Would it make you happy to make me come?"

Eggsy's mouth dropped open, but he choked the words that wanted to fall out back in. He nodded, and his eyes were heavy, pleading.

"Do you have a safe word?" Merlin asked. There was a nod. "Do ye need to use it?" It was the first time in the conversation that Eggsy said no.

Merlin stood, his legs against Eggsy's. He undid his trousers and pulled them and his pants down a little, freeing his cock. He fisted his hand around himself, started to pull just a few inches away from Eggsy's face. He watched the lad lick his lips. But when Eggsy leaned forward, Merlin stepped back. Merlin stopped touching himself, let Eggsy get a good look.

"Do ye like what you see?" 

Eggsy's nod this time was very quick, vehement. Merlin smiled at him. "You're bigger than I am." Merlin said it easily. Eggsy shook his head no and Merlin laughed a little. "Lad, that type of thing stopped bothering me when I was your age. I'm average, but I think that you'll enjoy the curve of me when I'm buried in your ass." Merlin went back to touching himself and Eggsy was pouting. God he wanted a taste, wanted to touch. But Merlin hadn't given permission. So Eggsy stayed still in the chair, muscles tense.

"Good lad." Merlin said as his hand pulled. Eggsy smiled a little at the praise. His eyes never left the motion of that hand. Merlin stopped and held out that hand to Eggsy's mouth. "Lick." Eggsy's tongue lapped at Merlin's hand eagerly, and the saliva made the masturbation much more enjoyable. Merlin moaned as he teased his slit with his fingertip. He was leaking precome and that added to the glide. 

Eggsy was dying to touch, wanted to beg, but didn't say a word.

"Would ye like a taste?" Merlin asked, voice rough as he neared orgasm. Eggsy's head was a blur as he nodded. "Open wide." Eggsy's jaw dropped and Merlin thrust into his mouth. A couple sucks and Merlin was coming. Eggsy choked a little but managed not to spill any out of his mouth. Merlin pulled out of Eggsy's mouth and tucked himself away. He came back with a towel and a bottle of water. 

"Spit." Eggsy spit into the towel, grateful. He didn't mind swallowing when it was already at the back of his mouth, but he found it awkward when he just had a mouth full of come. He just couldn't swallow. He watched as Merlin opened the bottle and offered it to him. Eggsy drank greedily.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked after a couple minutes.

Eggsy nodded. 

"Did ye enjoy that?"

Eggsy grinned, no nod was needed.

Merlin settled onto the couch. "You can move around as you want. You can even talk."

Eggsy got out of the chair and settled onto the sofa and put his head on Merlin's lap. Merlin read as Eggsy just stayed lost in his thoughts and silent.

The rest of the day passed quickly and Eggsy still said nothing. They went to bed and Merlin fell asleep.

Eggsy poked him awake. Merlin reached for a gun before he was fully aware and Eggsy laughed at him.

Eggsy held up his phone 12:01am. Eggsy had followed the original order that he wouldn't talk that day.

"My safe word is Brogues." Eggsy dropped a quick kiss on Merlin's lips.

"Cheeky bastard." Merlin said, wrapping Eggsy into a hug.


	4. Starting to Learn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy still doesn't quite get it, but he's starting to. A mix of Merlin and Eggsy POV

Merlin enjoyed watching Eggsy wake. It was in this moment that he remembered how much younger than him Eggsy was. Merlin didn't have a problem with their age difference, his last lover had been of an age with Eggsy, and this was a mission not a long term relationship. It was just in this moment Eggsy unarmed. The line was gone between his brows and his slight smile didn't have that cocky edge that it so often carried. He could tell the moment Eggsy felt the eyes on him and woke up but tried to stay still.

"It's alright Jaimie, it's just me. You are safe." Merlin had slept beside Harry a time or two - enough to know that waking up an agent poorly was a bad idea. Harry never did apologize for that broken nose. But Merlin had made sure that all his clothes had 10% polyester for awhile, so it balanced out.

"Morning Duncan." Eggsy's smile was slow as he stretched. The sheet fell off his chest and Merlin happily stared at that toned and supple body. "See something you like?" Eggsy smirked a little. The lad knew he was attractive, but Merlin didn't want the boy to think he had an edge in this.

"Aye, I do. But first I think a shower is in order for both of us." Merlin smiled and rolled out of bed. He didn't have to look to know that Eggsy was pouting.

Merlin took a piss while the water warmed up. He was giving his teeth a quick brush when Eggsy walked in.

"I need to pee." Eggsy said. Merlin continued brushing and waved at the toilet. "Wot? While you're brushing your teeth?"

Merlin rolled his eyes and spit into the sink. "Eggsy think about how your room was set up during the candidate trials." Eggsy looked confused. It was sort of adorable how quickly they all blocked out the ramifications of that two way mirror. "Eggsy I've seen you take a shit. I've seen every candidate do just about everything imaginable in that room. Just pee already so we can shower."

Eggsy took a quick leak and flushed. Merlin opened the door to the shower and stepped in and gestured for Eggsy to join him. It was a nice shower cabinet, twin heads so neither was stuck out in the chill and there was a pleasant steam building.

Merlin was content to soak and watch Eggsy. A wet Eggsy was quite a beautiful sight. Merlin already knew that today was going to be about spoiling the boy. He could see Eggsy open his mouth and close it, look away.

"Ask your question lad." Merlin smiled. Hesitant Eggsy was such an unnatural creature.

"Am I supposed to wash you?" Eggsy finally asked.

"Would you like to?"

Eggsy just shrugged.

"While another time that would be nice. This time I would prefer to scrub you down myself." Merlin poured some shampoo into the palm of his hand and massaged Eggsy's scalp. His purrs went straight to Merlin's cock. He brought the massage down to Eggsy's neck already having learned how sensitive Eggsy's nape was. Merlin tipped Eggsy's head back to remove all the suds. He then soaped up a loofah and scrubbed Eggsy down from top to bottom. Eggsy was as clean as he perhaps had ever been. Merlin turned off the water and opened the door. Eggsy reached for a towel but Merlin got there first and dried Eggsy off and then slowly smoothed lotion over Eggsy. 

"Why are you doing this?" Eggsy asked, voice husky. His dick was hard, he was aching. "Aren't I supposed to take care of you?"

"You will later." Merlin said easily. "But for now, I thought you might like to be naked today." Merlin stood and kissed Eggsy. "Would you like that Eggsy, do spend the day naked, and perhaps spend some time at my feet on your knees."

Eggsy grinned a little. "Sure guv, sounds good."

"Good boy." Merlin smiled and winked, enjoying the flush of colour that spread over Eggsy. "Let's have some breakfast." Merlin went and got dressed in a more casual version of his standard look, Eggsy stayed naked.

Merlin made them some toast and fruit, feeling like a light breakfast. When Eggsy went to kneel, Merlin shook his head and gestured to his lap. He was surprised that Eggsy could actually get redder. Still Eggsy settled in, squirming a bit. But a hand on his nape calmed him down. "There's a good lad." Merlin said just to watch Eggsy smile. Merlin fed them both, all the while rubbing Eggsy's neck. He didn't want to torture him, but wanted him strumming with a low level of arousal all day.

Merlin wiped the last crumb off of Eggsy's lip, "Clean the dishes and then meet me in the other room."

"Yes sir." Eggsy hopped up immediately.

Merlin went to the other room and arranged a pillow on the ground and pulled out a couple books that he had brought with him. Merlin settled into the chair and pulled out a small black notebook. On the front page it said Jaimie and inside he had written all of Eggsy's hard and soft limits and now added his safe word.

He could feel Eggsy hovering at the door. Merlin gestured to the pillow and Eggsy hurried over and knelt, spine rigid, hands behind his back. It was somewhere between full attention and parade rest.

"With your other -" God Merlin didn't want to call them doms, abusers would be a better word, "men, did you kneel?"

"A little sir, the one liked it a bit. The other only liked me on my knees if I was sucking cock or crawling." Merlin could hear the distate in Eggsy's voice and made a note back on the soft limits page about no crawling.

"I see." Merlin tried to keep the anger out of his voice. "Well Jaimie, it's like anything else, being conditioned to it helps. We'll start today with 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off. Is it alright if I touch you?" Merlin asked.

"I'm down here for you, aren't I?" Eggsy snarked.

"No, you're down there for both us." Merlin said calmly. After yesterday Merlin wondered if Eggsy was going to push today, try to bait him. He watched as Eggsy's spine relaxed just a little. Eggsy nodded and Merlin's hand just rested on his shoulder.

"Good. So good for me. And you look so lovely there." Merlin said quietly. "Now I'd like us to talk about rope bondage today. It is a favourite of mine and is a handy show piece if we are looking to get attention at the club when we go." Merlin spent the next few minutes talking about his history and experience with rope and never took his hand off of Eggsy. He glanced at his watch. "Stand up, walk around, get yourself water or go to the bathroom." Eggsy nodded and disappeared for a couple of minutes. He came back and looked at Merlin. "How are you feeling Jaimie?"

Eggsy rolled his shoulders a little, did a deep knee bend and straightened. He turned around and raised his hands to the sky and slowly bent in half to toe his toes. Merlin smirked a little at the deliberate display but otherwise didn't respond.

"Do ye think you can do 15 minutes this time?" Merlin asked.

"Sure, Duncan - not a prob." Eggsy dropped his knees, postured less forced but still strong. Merlin spent the time showing Eggsy a few photos of both simple and complex knotting and some that served no real purpose beyond being showy. This time he didn't touch Eggsy and noticed that the lad was a lot more restless. Eggsy stood at 14 minutes. 

"I've got to take a leak." He looked defiant, like he expected a negative response from Merlin. 

"Go ahead." Merlin said mildly. He got up himself to make more tea. Eggsy met him in the kitchen, grabbed a soda from the fridge. "I think we are done with the kneeling right now. We can try again in the afternoon or evening. Now did any of those pictures appeal to you?"

Eggsy sipped his drink, "A bunch of the arm knots were cool. I liked the ones more on the bed than the ones that would have me strung up. Looks like some of that shite takes a long time though, how is that fun for anybody?" Eggsy snarked. "I mean wooo, I get to sit there or lie there and you wrap me up, then what we get off and it's all over." Eggsy was definitely trying to push buttons today. 

Merlin put down his cup and crowded Eggsy against the fridge. "It's fun Jaimie because I get to have my hands on your beautiful skin." He dragged his fingers over Eggsy's arm and across his chest. "Because I get to take all your restless energy and still it, focus it onto my touch, onto the feel of me binding you. The pleasure is in me moving across you, but you feeling the rope, the knots so that in the end it feels like I'm touching you in a dozen places. I have always been fond of pretty wrapped gifts Jaimie."

He watched Eggsy swallow, knew the lad was hard again, but ignored it. "Now I think we should both do our own thing for awhile. How about you do a little more research into rope bondage, go through the books, flag the ones you like, the ones you really don't. I would like you to make us lunch for 11:45." Merlin reached down and gave one firm tug to Eggsy's cock, "Remember, no playing with this on your own." He enjoyed the needy whimper that sounded in Eggsy's throat. Merlin left the kitchen.

 *************

Eggsy stared at the clock as it switched over to 1145. He didn't have lunch ready. He could have, but didn't. Eggsy couldn't quite explain why but he wanted to see what would happen. Maybe Merlin would spank him. 

Merlin walked into the kitchen and saw Eggsy still putting together sandwiches. Eggsy was confused when he didn't say anything just sat at the table. Eggsy put the sandwich in front of him at 1152. Eggsy shot a look at Merlin noticed how close his chair was to the table. No lap then. Eggsy sat down and refused to be disappointed.

They ate in silence and Eggsy did the dishes. When they went back to the living room Merlin asked for Eggsy's rope notes.

Eggsy shrugged. "Didn't do 'em. Watched netflix." Eggsy waited to see Merlin's response.

He watched Merlin stare at him, Eggsy wanted to shiver the gaze was so intense. He was sure now he would be punished.

"Shall we go through them together now then?" Merlin asked. 

That was it? That was all? Shouldn't he be mad, shouldn't Eggsy be in trouble? This wasn't what was supposed to happen. 

"And if I say no, don't wanna?" Eggsy stuck his chin out.

"We don't tie you up until we do this." Merlin replied.

Eggsy shrugged to show he didn't care. He did. He wanted that feeling Merlin described. But he couldn't say that. Merlin talked a good game, but no way was all that how this was actually going to play out. Better to push, to see how Merlin honestly punished him (because come on that bullshit from yesterday wasn't really a punishment).

"Would you like to kneel again?" Merlin was looking at him again. That stupid look, on that stupid handsome face.

"Sure guv." Eggsy sank to his knees on the carpet, not using the pillow. He decided he was tired of this waiting around, I mean he was naked for a reason right and Merlin had been so thorough in cleaning him, he was sure he knew how today was supposed to go. He held his hands behind his back and leaned forward. He mouthed at Merlin's cock through his clothes. He nuzzled his nose along the zipper, he could feel Merlin getting hard. He pulled away and looked up. 

He was sure Merlin would look either smug that Eggsy couldn't wait for his cock, or pissed that Eggsy had done something without permission. Eggsy wondered if this was what would finally get him that spanking they had talked about.

Instead, Merlin just looked...sad.

That wasn't right.

Eggsy pulled back and hunched into himself, for the first time feeling awkward about his nudity. He felt embarrassed, ashamed. So he did the logical thing and lashed out. "Why aren't you using me?" He glared up at Merlin.

And Merlin only looked sadder. "Jaimie. I will only tell you this once more. What those other guys did? That isn't what this is. If you want something you can ask for it."

Right because there weren't no problems with asking for a spanking. Bullshit. "This why all your other lovers left? Boredom." Eggsy watched Merlin's jaw tighten. Sure he had finally pushed him enough. There was a heat to Merlin's eyes. A hard look, one he had seen on Dean before. Shit, buggering, shit, Eggsy thought. I pushed too far. He waited for the smack, for the punch, for Merlin to call him names.

Instead the older man just took off his glasses and pinched between his brows. "If you honestly want to know about my past relationships, I'd be happy to ye. But you don't. You just want to push, to see what happens. You want me to hurt you, to break you, so you can be proved right about whatever it is you are thinking. I've told you this is not how I operate." Merlin stood and held out his hand. Eggsy took it and was yanked upright. Eggsy was sure that now he'd be punished. He wondered if he'd be able to sit tomorrow.

Only Merlin turned without another word. Eggsy stood there, wondered if he was supposed to follow. Merlin came back with a pile of clothes. "You want to be punished. Very well then. Get dressed and get out of my sight. Because we are done with you second guessing this, thinking that you can outsmart me, thinking you  _know me._  If you wanted to be spanked, all you had to do was ask, not this deliberate crap behaviour. You will go for a walk alone. I do not care where you go, what you do, hell pull some tail for all I care. But you be back by 8 tonight ready to listen to me, believe me, or don't come back at all. The Kingsman have a decent severance package."

Eggsy's jaw dropped. "Are you firing me?"

Merlin got in his face, "You trusted me in training. You trusted me on V-Day. You've trusted me to keep ye alive on missions since then. I thought ye trusted me as a colleague and perhaps as a friend. But if you are just going to forget all that because of this particular situation, because at some point in the next couple days I was going to fuck ye until you forgot your name, then what good are ye to the table. I am going to the kitchen to pour myself a drink. I will take 8 minutes. I suggest you be gone in that time frame." Merlin stalked off.

Eggsy's tongue was bleeding from how hard he bit it. His hands were shaking. He was out the door in seven minutes.

******************

Eggsy knocked on Harry's door. Harry took one look at Eggsy's face. "Great, now I'm going to have to apologize to Merlin. Do you know how smug he gets? Unacceptable."

Eggsy just paled and turned around, it was too much.

"Oh do get in here. JB could stand to see you."

Eggsy smiled a little, "Thought he was at the Kingsman kennel."

Harry scowled as he followed Eggsy through the house. "He was annoying the other dogs. Something had to be done."

Eggsy rounded the corner and he and JB fell into a hug and slobbery licks. Harry poured some drinks even though it wasn't even dinner time yet. He was happy he had delivery due at 6 and hoped he could get Eggsy to eat.

"Do I need to scrub the mission?" Harry asked as he handed a low ball glass to Eggsy. He winced as Eggsy knocked back the 18 year old single malt in a go.

"Nah." Eggsy said after a bit. "I just need to get my head on straight."

Harry sat down. "And why isn't your head on straight?"

Eggsy looked at Harry, at his mentor, his boss, his friend. "Because no way is Merlin on the level."

"Have you known him to lie?" Harry raised a brow.

"No." Eggsy paused. "Bend the truth, twist words, but not lie. But -" Eggsy paused. "But if he is what he says, if it all plays out like he's suggested, then what I had before...then what was that?"

"Really shitty sex? Crap reationships? Abuse?" Harry suggested.

Eggsy shook his head. "Nah, weren't abuse. I knew what I was getting into. It wasn't like Dean's hits."

"Was it something you wanted?"

"Not how these things work." Eggsy was stuck on repeat.

"If you can't trust Merlin, can you trust me?" Harry asked.

"Always." Eggsy said without a pause.

"Then trust this. Merlin is on the level. I've know three of his lovers. I've been one of his lovers."

Eggsy for a moment felt his brain freeze. "Wot?"

"One of his subs really wanted to be fucked by a different man while Merlin watched. Merlin is not especially into that scene, but isn't so against it that he would deny the man. He asked me to be that third party. It was an interesting experience. When that relationship ended, Merlin and I were lovers for a time." Harry held up a hand before Eggsy could ask the question. "No I did not sub for him. And we didn't 'break up' we had always known being together was a finite experience. An enjoyable one, one that neither of us regret. But I don't prefer long term relationships."

"God you two would have been so hot together." Eggsy blurted out. 

Harry couldn't stop a laugh. "We were." Harry took a sip of his drink. "Eggsy can you do this mission? Because if you keep fighting us, fighting this, it's all done."

Eggsy snorted. "That's what Merlin said to me yesterday."

"Is it so very hard to trust him to take care of you? He does it almost every other day."

"This is different though." Eggsy replied.

"How? It's still a mission?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, it just is." 

Harry sighed. "You are an amazing field agent but this deep a cover situation might have been too much for you. I'll call Merlin and we'll figure out something else." Harry stood.

"Wait. Just wait." Eggsy said. He took a breath. The guys were right. He trusted Merlin. It was fucking Merlin. "He really isn't going to pull a 180 on me?"

Harry smiled, sometimes it was too easy. "Eggsy if he wanted to hurt you, he'd just take your grenades or umbrella away. Or just say he was going to punch you and follow through."

"Right then. I don't have to be back until 8. You're feeding me." Eggsy settled into the couch.

"Of course."

******************************

Merlin was tired and tense. He was checking the clock every few minutes. He couldn't deny the relief he felt at the door opened at 758. Eggsy walked into the living room. He stood in front of Merlin, head up, shoulders back. He slowly stripped down to skin. He then knelt at Merlin's feet. His posture was straight, hands behind him.

"I'm sorry sir. I really am." Eggsy's eyes were swimming just a little, his voice sincere. Merlin ran his hands through Eggsy's hair. Eggsy leaned into the touch and when those fingers reached his neck he tilted his head forward and rested it on Merlin's knee. "You can punish me if you like."

"Oh Jaimie." Merlin sighed. He kept rubbing that bent head. "I think that perhaps you've punished yourself enough, that anything I would do tonight, would just reinforce those thoughts that you can't seem to shake." Merlin just kept petting his head, rubbing his shoulders.

"I liked the wrist bind on page four of that one booklet." Eggsy said into Merlin's legs.

Merlin smiled a little. "Did you now?" Eggsy nodded against him. "Shall we go to the bedroom?" Merlin nudged Eggsy to stand and pushed him down the hall.

30 minutes later Eggsy was face down on the bed, hands tied behind his back, up on his knees, with his ass in the air. Merlin was drawing his fingers down over Eggsy shoulders, down the arms, and over his ass, nails scoring just lightly. Merlin could here Eggsy mumble into the pillow.

"What was that?" Merlin asked.

"More." Eggsy paused. "Please sir, a little harder?"

"Good boy." Merlin said softly. He then dragged his nails a little harder against Eggsy's skin, leaving marks as he went. Eggsy gave a little wiggle. He gasped as Merlin's hand came down hard on his left cheek, the slap a sting on his ass. "Stay still lad." Merlin ordered. "Can ye do that for me? Stay as still as possible?"

"Yes sir." Eggsy figured a few more slaps would follow.

Instead he felt Merlin lick from his balls to the small of his back. Merlin didn't have to worry about him moving, Eggsy was frozen in shock.

"Do ye not like that?" Merlin asked. He wondered why Eggsy was tense, hard like rock.

"Don't right know. No one's ever done that for me." Eggsy admitted. "Sir." he remembered to add after a moment.

"Hmmmm." Merlin hummed. "Remember stay still." And Merlin began to lick at Eggsy's hole.

It wasn't long before he could feel Eggsy's leg muscles quivering trying to stay still. He pulled his mouth away and wrapped his hands hard around Eggsy's hip, his forearms resting along Eggsy's thighs. "Will this help ye?"

"Yes sir. Thank you." Eggsy breathed out, grateful for the support.

Merlin enjoyed that Eggsy didn't hold back his moans when Merlin's tongue got back to work. Spit was sliding down Merlin's chin, but he didn't care. He just kept licking, kissing Eggsy, enjoying the spasms of his hole, the way that his cock was starting to leak. He pushed the tip of his tongue in just a little bit and listened to Eggsy lose coherency. He kept going until Eggsy begged, "Please sir, let me move." Eggsy's muscles were so tight, straining under Eggsy's will that was so close to broken. 

Merlin pulled away from Eggsy and slicked a finger with the lube he had put on the bed. He pulled hard at the ropes around Eggsy's wrists until the lad was kneeling on the bed. Merlin knelt behind him and without any warning slid that finger into Eggsy. The young man gasped. 

"Go ahead, ye can move." Merlin whispered into his ear. He used his other hand to jerk Eggsy off. His hands worked in tandem, every time his finger pushed in, his hand slid to the base of Eggsy's cock. Eggsy was moaning and rocking his hips trying to survive all the pressure that was building up in him.

"You seem to be labouring under one major falsehood lad." Merlin said. "You think that I want to break you, like a hammer on rock, smash you into bits, leave you shattered. You are so very, very wrong." Merlin's grip tightened, Eggsy was practically crying. "I want to forge you, shape you. A hammer against hot metal, making a new shape, a stronger sword." Merlin scraped his finger over Eggsy's prostate. "Lad, let me. Let me forge you into something amazing. Now come." Eggsy shouted and spurted all over Merlin's hand. Eggsy was saturated with sweat, tears, come. He was utterly and completely spent. He collapsed back onto Merlin. 

Merlin smiled. "Good lad, my beautiful Jaimie, you did so well for me there. Look at what you let me do." Merlin carefully lay Eggsy on the bed and untied his wrists, massaged the fingers. He left Eggsy just for a moment and got the water running in the bath. He returned and with little effort picked Eggsy up and put him in the warm water. Eggsy was floating a little both mentally and physically.

Merlin left him for a moment and returned with some juice and apple slices. He fed Eggsy slowly as Eggsy relaxed in the water. Eventually Eggsy came back to himself.

"Did you get off?" Eggsy asked looking at Merlin.

"Nae. I want to wait until you are ready for me to fuck you." Merlin said easily. He laughed as Eggsy sputtered and sank under the water.

He came up coughing. "I'm so totally ready for that." 

"No you aren't. I'll not fuck ye until ye listen and believe what I say." Merlin stood and went to get a towel. He pulled Eggsy up and out of the water. Merlin gave him a brisk rub down laughing at how Eggsy's hair spiked up.

He paused at the look on Eggsy's face.

"I'm getting there Duncan. I promise sir." Eggsy took a chance and kissed the tip of Merlin's nose. "Could you carry me to bed. Maybe do that head rub thing?"

"Of course." Merlin hoisted Eggsy up into a Princess and carried him to bed.


	5. I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin decides they should try to be out in public a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. So I swear there is a plot for this story and we are sort of getting there, but yeah. I just really really wanted to write the scene that closes this chapter. And the afternoon scene, and just the whole damn chapter. I regret nothing. totally making up the club and it's rules.

They had a quiet morning and Eggsy spent some more time kneeling but they mostly did their own thing. Eggsy had lunch ready at exactly 11:45. Merlin smiled and gestured. Eggsy happily dropped into his lap as they ate the plate of nibbles he had put together.

"Now Jaimie, do ye think that you are ready to try an outing?" Merlin asked.

"What sort of outing?" Eggsy was curious. He popped another olive into his mouth.

"I thought we should practice being out in public. There is a club that I occasionally frequent and it is one of their dance nights. Going to a club, drinking, dancing, maybe watch a show in one of the parlours, would be good practice." Merlin ate the last cracker and cheese.

Eggsy smirked a little, "You dance, guv?" He just couldn't picture Merlin bouncing around on a sweaty dance floor, neon lights, a heavy bass.

"I dance." was all Merlin said. "What nicer clothes did ye bring?"

"I have a couple suits, the stuff I wore for the seduction test, my nice jeans." Eggsy shrugged, "Something from that should do yeah?"

Merlin thought about it. "Not really for where we're going."

"Oh, do I need latex, chains, a collar?" 

Merlin rolled his eyes. "The things you think sometimes. Yes some people prefer that look, it is not quite to my taste. There is a chance we will run into people I know and while all my boyfriends have looked different physically, the look of them was to a type."

"Almost classy." Eggsy guessed.

Merlin smiled, "Good lad Jaimie. So we'll go shopping a bit, maybe out for a light dinner and then take some time to ourselves and go to the club. That sound like a plan?"

"Sounds good Duncan." Eggsy slid off Merlin's lap and went to wash the dishes.

**************************

Merlin walked them to a very nice men's shop. Not quite bespoke, but high end with on hand tailoring. Eggsy whistled, at all the trendy clothes. He wanted to go pawing through the racks, but this didn't look like the place to paw. He felt the weight of Merlin's hand on his neck. Remembered that this was all to be a show.

A woman in a tight black dress and impossibly high heels walked over to them. "Gentlemen, good afternoon. Allow me to help with your shopping experience."

Merlin smiled, politely, but a little arrogant. "My boy here needs some new clothes, casual and a few things for evening, for a club and dancing." The possessive way Merlin said  _boy_ was enough for her to recognize that he didn't mean son.

"Of course." She gestured to the back of the store. "Would you care to have a seat, a glass of wine while I bring a selection of clothes to you?"

"That sounds lovely." Merlin lightly pushed Eggsy along.

They sat there and talked quietly, sipping on the red wine provided. Eventually the woman returned saying, "I have placed a sampling in room 3."

"I didn't even give you my size or nofing." Eggsy said.

The woman sneered a little, "I assure you that I am very good at my job."

"Of course. Thank you." Merlin said. "Jaimie, be a dear and go place dress up like a good lad."

"Yes sir." Eggsy stood and walked back to room three. And holy fuck if it wasn't a nice room. There was a chair and table with a damn ipod dock, "what for doing a movie montage?" Eggsy said out loud. Gentle lighting, a huge mirror and there was a rack of clothes.

Really nice looking togs, jeans, trousers, t-shirts, sweaters, dress shirts, the woman had made nice picks. He started to pull them all on. And damn but they fit perfect. She really did know what she was doing.

"I'd like to see what I'm buying Jaimie!" Merlin's voice rang out.

Eggsy went out in the tightest of the black jeans and the crisp white dress shirt. He held out his arms and did a little spin. "Well?"

Merlin simply lifted a hand and the woman appeared. "I'd like a shirt with French cuffs and a couple sizes up." He gestured and whispered into her ear. She laughed throatily. Eggsy glared at her. He glared even more as Merlin kissed her hand. 

When she left, Merlin turned back to Eggsy. "Were there a few other pieces you liked?"

"Yeah a sweater, a couple more trousers, couple tops."

"When she returns tell which you like." Merlin began to read on his phone. Eggsy couldn't stop himself and stuck out his tongue before going back to change.

They left half an hour later, 7 hundred pounds charged to the kingsman.

"Fuck me." Eggsy breathed out as Merlin signed the receipt.

"Later perhaps, if ye are good." Merlin said off handed. Eggsy flushed red and the woman gave him a wink. Eggsy collected the bags and they walked out.

They stopped for some food and Eggsy asked the question that was bothering him. "Why spend all that money on a shirt that won't fit me right, not like the rest of the stuff we picked up?"

Merlin smiled and fed Eggsy a bite of his food. "You'll see tonight. I'll want you to wear the dress shirt and the jeans I think."

"Sure, Duncan." Eggsy eats the rest of his food in silence.

*******************************

They had separate showers and Eggsy dresses in the guest bedroom. He slides the jeans on, forgoing pants, because why not? If he does a lot of dancing it might chafe some, but come on no club that Merlin frequents is going to be that rave like. He puts on socks and his oxfords, the ones that are just that right sort of broken in. He put on his vest and the slid the white shirt over top. It was the highest thread count with even a little silk blended in and it skated over his skin with just a whisper.

But the sleeves almost hit his knuckles and the neck gaped absurdly. And it bunched enough to not even be worth tucking in. He went to Merlin to complain but Merlin wasn't in their bedroom. 

Eggsy walked down the hall already talking, "No way does this work, Duncan, I look like a prat who don't know how to dress himself. Why did you -" Eggsy honestly forgot that he was talking when he saw Merlin.

Merlin wasn't wearing his glasses. And he was also wearing tight jeans. With a midnight blue evening jacket undone with a v-neck t-shirt underneath. And oh god, he was wearing broken in doc martens with it. It was the perfect mix of punk and gentleman. Eggsy swallowed. "You look, um, good." Good didn't really cover it. Unbearably hot was closer. Seemed like Eggsy was going to have to worry about chaffing sooner than he thought.

Merlin smiled, pleased with Eggsy's reaction. He walked over and carefully began to roll up Eggsy's shirt sleeves. "I believe you were complaining?" Merlin asked as he rolled the other sleeve.

"Huh?" Eggsy was staring at Merlin's throat.

"Jaimie, focus." Merlin moved his fingers and undid the first two buttons of the shirt.

"Why's my shirt too big?" Eggsy finally remembered his question.

Merlin leaned into Eggsy's ear. "Well, now, if you look at us, doesn't seem as if that is the shirt I should be wearing under this jacket? Only some naughty boy grabbed it before I could." Eggsy drew in a shaky breath. "To those who look, who really look, to those who might know me, that shirt is as good as any leather collar."

"Oh." Eggsy said, a smile slowly growing on his face.

"Indeed. Now shall we go have some fun?" Merlin nipped lightly at the collarbone he had just exposed. He pulled Eggsy along.

************************************

The club looked completely unassuming from the outside, just like any other building - a restaurant or a gallery. There was a small sign beside the door that just said, " _The Black Gardens"_ _  
_

"Bit ominous that." Eggsy said as they walked through the door.

"The owner does have a flair for the dramatics."

There was a man in a suit at the second door. Eggsy could tell that he was armed. Merlin handed over i.d. and his club card and signed them both in. "Very good sir, will you be needing to reserve one of the private rooms this evening?"

"No I don't think so." Merlin said easily. "Are there any shows tonight?"

"Mistress Nevarra will be doing a suspension cross demonstration, and the south parlour is having an open spanking time."

"Thank you." Merlin nodded and guided Eggsy inside. The main room was a bar, quiet conversations, low jazz playing. He looked around and saw people in various dress, and some wearing nothing but a collar and kneeling beside people. He even saw a leash. But there were others just milling about. Merlin lead him to the bar, always keeping a hand on Eggsy's on neck or waist. Merlin nodded at a couple of people as he signaled the bartender, getting them whiskey.

"Alright?" Merlin asked quietly. Eggsy leaned into him.

"Yes sir." He scoped out the room. "This is a quite classy joint."

"Aye. There are a couple floors, upstairs is bedrooms you can book, this level has the bar and the show parlours, with the dance area down in the basement." Merlin leaned in and kissed Eggsy. "Would you like to look around a little?"

Eggsy jolted when he heard a moan. He looked over and saw a man eating out a woman as she sat in a chair and had a conversation. "So that's just allowed then, sex just anywhere."

"Yes. We all agreed when we joined that certain behaviours were allowed in public. Hands, mouths. Naked subs, binding, spanking. One of the parlours will have whipping, blood play, but that sort is not allowed on the floors. Likewise harsh punishments are kept between the couple."

Eggsy couldn't take his eyes off the sub pleasuring his mistress. He watched as she came, cheeks flushed, head rolling against the chair cushions. She pushed her skirt back down and patted her boy on the head. Eggsy watched him lean into her touch.

Merlin leaned in closer and pressed his hand against Eggsy's crotch. Eggsy swayed into him. "Tell me Jaimie, would you like to service me in public like that?"

Eggsy stare at Merlin. He really wanted too, but to expose himself like that? Sure she had been the one with her bits on display, but she wasn't the one exposed for all to see. "No sir." Eggsy said, his voice tentative, unsure. Merlin immediately removed his hand from the front of Eggsy's jeans.

"How about we check out one of the parlours?"

But Eggsy was restless, eyes kept being drawn back to the sub who was preening under his mistress's hand. "Could we go down to the dance floor? I kind of want to move a bit."

"Of course." Merlin put their glasses on the bar and lead Eggsy to a stairwell. They were about to go down when a man called, "Duncan! I haven't seen you in forever."

Eggsy and Merlin both turned and Eggsy saw the easy smile that slid over Merlin's face. "Patrick, it's good to see ye." Eggsy watched them hug and Patrick give Merlin a kiss. 

"Jaimie, this is Patrick an old friend. Patrick this is my boy Jaimie."

Patrick looked Eggsy up and down and smirked, "Well I suppose he's cheaper than a super car. You owe me a dance later." Patrick kissed Merlin again and headed off to one of the parlours.

Merlin and Eggsy continued on their way to the basement. "Please tell me, sir, that you were the one to dump his ass."

"No, actually he was the one to call it off first, although I had certainly been headed in that direction." 

As they grew closer to their destination, Eggsy could finally hear the music. It definitely wasn't the music he was used to at the clubs he used to frequent. Sensuous was the word he eventually decided upon. There was low lighting and a small bar and a few tables. But mostly it was 30 or so people moving on the dance floor, entwined bodies, swaying hips. Eggsy couldn't stop himself from starting to move. Merlin smiled at him, "I'll get us some water, you go have fun." Eggsy dove into the small crowd swaying alongside a pretty girl and a man without a shirt on. Eggsy forgot about Patrick, forgot about the sub from upstairs, forgot that this was a job and just lost himself in the music.

He had no idea how long he had been out there, when he felt strong hands grab his hips from behind and pull him in. "Taken asshole." Eggsy said.

"Oh I've not taken ye yet, but think I will soon." Merlin whispered in his ear. Eggsy moaned and reached up so that his arm was around Merlin's neck. Merlin slid a hand from Eggsy's hip just to under his shirt resting on stomach. Merlin started to move side to side, adding a hip roll occasionally. Eggsy could see a couple people staring at them, he could only imagine how they looked, but he didn't care, Merlin felt so good behind him. "Tell me lad," Merlin just kept whispering in his ear as they danced, "how will ye want me to take you for the first time? From behind, so that you can feel me covering you, every square inch of you touching me some how?" Eggsy was dying. Merlin spun him around and grabbed his ass, grinding a little. "Face to face, so that I can look in your eyes and tell you what a good boy you are? How you please me so?" Merlin kept them moving, Eggsy was completely incapable of motor function at this point. Merlin drew him in even closer so that there was absolutely no space between them. Eggsy was so hard in his jeans and Merlin's leg slid between his brushed against him, killing him. "Or perhaps will ye want to ride me?" Merlin lifted his leg just a little and Eggsy was up on his toes, almost riding that leg. "Hmm, perhaps yes, then I can see you, watch you writhe, and roll your hips, make you do all the work, while I lay there and just enjoy. Watch you move up and down, arch your back. Make you put on a bit of a show. And ye'd have to put on a hell of a show if you want to be allowed to come." Merlin bent his head a little. He raised his leg a little more and pushed down on Eggsy's hips with his hands. "Yes I think you'll ride me and if you are a very good boy, ye may come on my chest once ye've pleased me."

And for the first time since he was 19, Eggsy came in his jeans. He sort of collapsed in Merlin's arms, and Merlin kept them swaying to the music. Eggsy eventually looked up at Merlin and smiled. "Okay?" Merlin asked, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Eggsy's back.

"Yes sir." Eggsy flushed a little as the girl he had been dancing with earlier gave him a thumb's up. "Only,"

"Bathroom's are just down that hall to the left." Merlin said and Eggsy pushed away. 

He took a quick glance back and saw Merlin start to dance with the girl. And oh was he a sexy sight. But Eggsy smiled as Merlin kept an inch or two of space between them.

Eggsy went to the toilet, and cleaned up the inside of his jeans as best as he could. Right now he was thankful that they were black jeans and the shirt was large, it hid the wet spot. He was washing his hands as Patrick came in.

"So when did Duncan pick you up?" Patrick asked as he went to a urinal.

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "Been together awhile now."

"He's very good isn't he?" Patrick said, flushing. He came over to wash his hands. "I mean a little vanilla for the scene, but for a kid like you, he'll probably be a good introduction. And he fucks better than most."

"Uh-huh." Eggsy went to leave.

"You'll get bored soon enough, but I'd imagine his money will be enough to keep you happy for a few extra months." Patrick said. "Eventually though, you'll want more than he gives. I did, he just doesn't get what you really need. His hand isn't firm enough. And the way he disappears, the way he never answers questions, the way he shuts you out. You'll step out, just wait."

That stopped Eggsy. Eggsy turned and looked at the wanker. "Really? Confrontation in the loo? Isn't that too cliched teen movie?"

"Look take the advice of someone who's been around this block. He's good, but there are better out there. Take my card, when you need a little extra pain, well I can hook you up." Eggsy looked down at the card in the guy's hand.

"Oh bruv, you really are a dumb fucker aren't you?" Eggsy grinned and got in Patrick's space. "I been around the block enough myself. There ain't better than Duncan out there. And those secrets about him, the one's that make him so sexy and mysterious, I know every goddamn one of them. So you try to stir up whatever shit you want, but whatever you're trying to do right now, trust me it ain't going to work and you'll just humiliate yourself." Eggsy stepped back, "Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to my dom. Who knew he'd be such a good dancer?"

Eggsy walked out of the loo, head high.  He was waylaid in the hallway from the girl off the dance floor and stopped to chat for a couple minutes. She was really sweet and easy to talk to. Eggsy noticed Patrick huff on by, but ignored it. Eggsy chatted for a couple more minutes and said his goodbyes. On his way he stopped at the bar to grab a quick bottle of water. He chugged it down and turned to search the dance floor for Merlin.

He found him easily, Merlin a bit taller than most of the other dancers. Only now he was dancing with Patrick. They looked good together, moving easily, clearly used to each others bodies. Patrick was shaking his head a bit to the beat, as a cover for looking around the room. When he saw Eggsy at the bar he smirked and pulled Merlin closer.

Eggsy just shook his head and started walking toward the men. The guy was just clearly out to cause trouble for no reason other than to cause trouble. He saw Merlin step back from Patrick's grasp a little, that he did so without having noticed Eggsy made Eggsy incredibly happy. Eggsy tapped Merlin's shoulder. Watched as the serious look slid off his face, a smile taking over. "You good lad?"

"Yes sir." Eggsy pulled Merlin back a little and snuck in under his arm. "Your ex kept you company."

"Aye Patrick was always a decent dance partner." There was dismissal in Merlin's voice. "Thank you Patrick, perhaps we'll see you around."

"I'd love to see you sometime Duncan. Perhaps we can arrange a meet up." Patrick said, voice low and husky, intent behind the words obvious.

"Oh toss off, you wanker. Duncan ain't going to step out for your dumb ass, so just move along. Jesus Christ." Eggsy said, exasperated. Merlin smirked a little as Eggsy's grip was tightening on him. "Seriously why didn't you dump him first sir?"

"Well he was pretty in bed so long as he didn't speak. Why I like you, darling boy, I like it when you open your mouth." Merlin was firmly wrapped around Eggsy now.

Patrick glared at them and left the dance floor.

"Mischief not managed." Eggsy said.

Merlin laughed a little, "He always was a bit of a pushy shit, just liked to create scenes because he could." Merlin started to sway with Eggsy again. "He didn't realize he actually was the mid-life crisis. He's my biggest misstep in relationships I will admit."

Eggsy pushed into Merlin a little more. "Don't think we need to talk about him anymore do we?"

The music had slowed down a little, but still had a beat, and anyone who was paired up on the dance floor got closer to one another. What had been sensuous was sliding into sexy and erotic. The lighting switched from warm yellow to a red. The shadows in the room were long, the air growing a little musky with the group's arousal.

Merlin was rocking his hips into Eggsy and Eggsy was lost in his dom. He thought about the what he had seen upstairs, how Merlin had made him feel on the dance floor. He looked around and saw that most of the people in the room were wrapped up in each other, only a few people watching the dance floor. Eggsy looked at Merlin. God he was just so sexy.

"So you like it when I open my mouth do you sir?" Eggsy asked.

Merlin smiled at him, "Well it is a very pretty mouth lad." 

Eggsy slid a hand in between them and undid Merlin's jeans. He lowered the zipper and pushed his hand into the opening. "Sir, may I use my mouth to please you?" He asked.

"Are ye sure lad?" Merlin asked seriously remembering Eggsy's hesitance from a couple hours ago.

Eggsy wrapped his hand around Merlin's length, pulling in time to the music until Merlin was full hard and leaking just a little. As of yet no one had noticed what they were doing. "Yes sir. I am very sure."

"Well then Jaimie lad, you best get on your knees." 

Eggsy sank to his knees in the middle of the dance floor and Merlin pushed his fingers into his hair. Merlin kept his hips moving to the beat of the music as Eggsy started to lick at his length. Eggsy could feel a few eyes on him now, but he didn't care, all he cared about was the music and Merlin. All he cared about was the sexy man above him and making him happy.

Eggsy pulled Merlin's cock into his mouth and started to suck, head moving back and forth, moans drawn from his throat.

A circle of dancers formed around them, watching as they danced, as they ground into their partners, but also blocking the view a little of anyone who just wanted to watch for watching's sake. Eggsy could hear other moan's, wondered if any of them were Merlin. He felt the fingers tighten in his hair and Merlin's thrusts into his mouth picked up a little speed. Eggsy hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, drawing Merlin into his mouth as far as he could. He felt Merlin thicken in his mouth just a little bit more and then felt warmth hit against his throat. He swallowed every damn drop. 

Merlin pulled his hand out of Eggsy's hair and held it out. Eggsy took it and let Merlin help him up. He tucked Merlin carefully back into his jeans. 

"Good lad. My good Jaimie, so good, so wonderful for me. That was very brave of ye. I'm so impressed, you made me feel so good." Merlin pulled Eggsy into a hug. He kept them swaying to the beat. "Oh but we are going to leave and go back to the flat, and I am going to make you feel so good. My precious Jaimie deserves a reward for being so good for me." Merlin was getting ready to walk.

"Thank you sir. But could we dance just a little more first? I like dancing with you."

Merlin smiled and kissed him. "Aye lad, we can dance a little more."

And they stayed there swaying wrapped up in each other for three more songs.

 


	6. Cue the Porn Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally have the sex. that's it. that's the chapter. sex.

They didn't get back to the flat until 1am. They were tired from dancing but also incredibly wired.

"Now lad, I do believe that I promised ye a reward for being so amazing in the club. Would you like that now or in the morning?" Merlin asked as they slipped off their shoes.

Eggsy quivered in anticipation. "Now sir."

"Good lad, I was hoping ye would say that." Merlin pulled him in for a hard kiss. "Have a quick but thorough shower. Dry off and the go lie face down on the bed."

Eggsy moved quickly away. Merlin heard the shower run not even a couple minutes later. He moved slower to the other bedroom, had a quick shower himself in the small ensuite. He debated shaving but left the bit of stubble in place. He stopped in the kitchen to get a couple bottles of water and some granola bars for after. He heard the dash of feet and chuckled to himself. Merlin opened the door to their room and the line of Eggsy's back, his head resting on his arms.

"Have to say Jaimie, you do have a beautiful ass. It would look quite lovely warmed by my hand." He watched Eggsy squirm a little on the bed. "Would ye like that as your reward tonight Jaimie, the few smacks that you've been craving, but dinnae dare ask for?" There was more squirming and then a muffled noise. "Ah lad, ye know I need to hear you clearly."

"Yes sir. I would like that." Eggsy said, flushing a little.

"Over my lap, or over the side of the bed?" Merlin asked easily. Eggsy squirmed a little more on the bed. "Over the side of the bed would perhaps feel a little less vulnerable for ye lad." Merlin finally suggested. He saw Eggsy's shoulders relax a little. He ran a hand slowly down Eggsy's flank before grabbing an ankle. He pulled and twisted, dragging Eggsy across the bed. He settled Eggsy so that his torso was all that was on the bed.

"Straighten your legs just a bit, to raise your ass." Merlin ordered softly.

"Yes sir." Eggsy adjusted a bit, quivering a little in anticipation.

Merlin placed a steadying hand on his back. "Just five hits lad, so you can have a taste. See if you actually like it. Count them off for me please." Merlin's free hand squeezed one cheek before pulling away to slap down hard.

"One sir." Eggsy said. It stung, hurt, and Eggsy was trying to figure out if he liked it. There was another smack, just a little lower. "Two sir." The sting lingered a little more, a tingly feeling. Eggsy moved about a little.

"Steady lad." Merlin said sternly. 

Eggsy immediately stilled. The hand came down on the other cheek. "Three sir." Warm, tingly, the feeling of Merlin near him. Yes Eggsy liked it.

The last two strikes were quick and hard and it the same spot. "Four and five sir." Eggsy moaned, realizing that he was hard, aching. He felt the hand that had been steadying his back start to rub up and down.

"Oh my beautiful lad, you did amazing there, so well for me. Proud of you." Merlin moved him carefully back onto the bed. He couldn't help himself and scraped his fingernails over the reddened skin. Eggsy shuddered and moaned. Merlin did it again, just to watch Eggsy roll his hips into the bed. "Oh lad, you are so good. So good for me."

"Thank you sir." Eggsy started to move, but paused. "May I roll over?"

"Good lad." Merlin said, "Good Jaimie, asking like that. Yes ye may roll over." Merlin watched Eggsy turn, looked at that beautiful cock standing straight up. Eggsy winced a little as he settled his ass onto the bed.

"Are you going to fuck me sir?" Eggsy asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

"Aye, if it pleases you." Merlin agreed.

"It really does sir. Would you like to open me up, or would you like for me to put on a bit of a show for you?"

"Oh lad you do know how to please don't you?" Merlin sat comfortably on the bed and looked at Eggsy. He reached over and tweaked a nipple to watch Eggsy squirm. He reached to the table and pulled over some lube and a condom. "Hand." Merlin said. 

Eggsy held out his fingers and Merlin poured some of the lube out. "Where do you want me sir?" Eggsy asked.

"Against the headboard, just a little raised, not quite sitting." Merlin moved a little so that he was between Eggsy's legs. He pushed at the knees, opening Eggsy a little more. "Give me a show, but make sure it is a show of what you like, not just a show for show's sake." Merlin said sternly.

Eggsy paused a little at that. He had automatically started to think how he used to, but this was Merlin, who over the last few days had opened his eyes. Merlin who hadn't hurt him, or called him names, who made him think about all this is a different way. Eggsy really wanted to make Merlin happy.

"Is it alright if I talk to you?" Eggsy asked.

"Oh I think I would like that. How ye think is of great interest to me." Merlin said.

Eggsy took a deep breath and let it out slow. "I like to start slow, never like rushing that first finger." He just moved his slicked finger so it was pressing against his hole. "Too many rushed times in cars, in bathrooms, first has to be easy, soft." He pressed the tip just into himself, leaving it, allowing his body to adjust. Merlin was rubbing soothing circles on his thigh.

"Ye look so lovely lad. I want to watch you open yourself up, nice and slow, take all the time you want, because the better prepared ye are, well then the harder ye can ride me."

Eggsy slid his finger more fully into himself as that mental image grew in his head. He moaned at the feeling. Eggsy began to move it back and forth, making sure to not touch his cock - he didn't know if it was allowed. "Too many guys, it's just about the do it good enough to make the cock fit, but I fucking love this feeling. A had a girl once who talked about fingering like it was better than fucking, couldn't understand why. Until she opened me up once. God the time she took, where it wasn't about the end goal but rather the pleasure to be gained in the act. When it's just me, I always do it like she did."

"Hmmm, pretty picture that." Merlin said.

"She was a good pal." Eggsy said. "More lube, sir."

"Of course." Merlin poured some onto Eggsy's middle finger. He watched as Eggsy pulled his index finger almost completely out, before pushing back in with two. He hissed a little. "This is where it can get faster, harder just a bit. Like the little bit of pressure after I've warmed up."

"Clearly." Merlin said watching the drop of precome slide down the side of Eggsy's cock. He reached out a finger and swiped up the liquid and licked his finger.

Eggsy froze a little at the sight. Merlin winked and pressed his palm against Eggsy's thigh, just past firm. "Continue Jaimie."

Eggsy got back to pushing his two fingers in and out of his body, quicker than before but by no means at a rushed pace. Merlin watched as Eggsy pushed in as far as he could go and them groaned, hips spiking up. 

"Prostate?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah." Eggsy pulled his fingers out. "Lube again please sir."

Merlin added some to the third finger. 

Eggsy pushed all three in hard. "This is where I start to like it rougher, because I know what's coming and oh god I'm starting to want it so bad. This is when my body just wants more and more, to be filled. If you weren't you, I'd start talking a good game, need you baby, your huge cock and all that." Eggsy stopped his speech to moan as he twisted his fingers, rolled them against his walls.

"But you know better than to do that sort of thing now." Merlin said. He leaned over and wrapped his long fingers around Eggsy's cock. 

Eggsy's fingers went to reflexively clench at the feeling, but they were trapped inside him. They just dragged hard against his prostate. He couldn't stop the yell that came out. Eggsy flushed and bit his lip, he wasn't used to being so noisy, the men he had been with only wanted to hear themselves.

But Merlin looked...hungry, like he loved the sounds Eggsy was making. Like he wanted to hear more.

Eggsy slid his teeth away and let out a sigh, "Feels so good sir."

"Does it now lad?" Merlin asked. "Would ye like more then now?"

Eggsy nodded. "Yes sir."

"Sit up then." Merlin said and they moved about a bit. Merlin lay down a couple pillows below his head and rolled the condom on and added some more lube. "Come on the Jaimie, why don't you show me just how good you look riding my cock."

Eggsy swung a leg over Merlin's hip and settled astride him. He held Merlin's dick and slowly sank onto it, until he had taken it all the way in. He stretched up, arching his back a little before dropping down close to Merlin's face. He smiled and kissed the older man, and rolled his hips a little. He pushed himself up again. Eggsy used his thighs to push straight up and slammed back down fast.

Merlin looked up, "Aye, you look very good there indeed Jaimie."

Eggsy grinned. "Thank you sir. Any preference sir?"

"Hard and fast please lad. And no touching yourself." 

"Yes sir." Eggsy pushed himself up and came down hard. He pushed himself, kept a fast pace, rolling his hips, moaning as his hard cock kept hitting against Merlin's skin. It was contact and pressure but it wasn't enough. Eggsy was ready to beg for something when he looked down at Merlin and saw that sharp look in his eye, the one from training that Eggsy wasn't thinking something through enough.

Eggsy was distracted enough to miss Merlin plant his feet and push his hips up hard, causing Eggsy to fall forward a little. Eggsy's dick with the new angle rubbed against Merlin's skin instead of just slapping against it. 

"Oh." Eggsy said. "Oh." He moaned.

He stayed that bit closer holding himself up with his arms. Eggsy began moving his hips more and now his dick was getting more friction, and Merlin's cock was dragging against his prostate with every stroke. Eggsy was getting close.

"Sir please, I'm close, it feel so good."

"Aye." Merlin agreed, he was sweating, breathing.

"Please. sir." Eggsy begged. "May I come. Please." He knew he sounded desperate.

"Oh beautiful boy, of course ye may come." Merlin kissed Eggsy hard, wrapping a hand in his hair, pushing his hips up once more. Eggsy sobbed into the kiss and came all over Merlin. He felt Merlin tense under him and knew the man had followed him.

Eggsy pulled up and off and tended to the condom on Merlin. He wondered if he should lick Merlin clean, one of his other doms had liked that.

"Nae lad, ye don't like the taste. Just fetch a towel and clean me off."

"Yes sir." Eggsy said. He hurried to the bathroom and came back. He gently cleaned Merlin off and placed a soft kiss on his heart once he was done. He threw the towel back in the direction of the bath.

"Do ye need a snack or some water lad?" Merlin asked.

"Water would be good yeah. Not hungry." Eggsy said. Merlin pulled the sheets back and they both climbed into bed. Eggsy sipped at the water some. "That was good, but not what I thought it would be like."

"Oh?" Merlin smiled. "Expected more rules, ropes, restriction?"

Eggsy laughed a little. "Yeah."

"Not the first time. This was about learning you, what you enjoy. Helps me down the line, when we bring those in. Which we'll be doing sooner than I would if this was an actual relationship. We're on a bit of a rushed schedule here."

And Eggsy grew cold. Somewhere during the night he had forgotten that this was all a job. That Merlin was just playing a game, that the things he said, they weren't real. Not really real.

"I'm tired sir." Eggsy said. He put the bottle of water carefully down and snuggled into the blankets, back to Merlin.

"Alright. We can sleep in, I'll make us waffles for brunch." Merlin said. He turned out the lights. 

Merlin lay a hand on Eggsy's shoulder. "Jaimie, ye were amazing tonight. At the club, in here. Ye are just so responsive, so incredible to be with." Eggsy tried to not believe in the words. There was a yawn and Merlin settling beside him. They were back to back, but Merlin angled his leg so that his toes were touching Eggsy's calf.

"I'm glad to be sharing this bed with ye Eggsy." Merlin drifted off.

Eggsy wondered if he should read something into that name slip. Wondered if he dared.

 


	7. Being Watched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this took a turn.

_One Week Later_

 

Harry knocked on the door, holding a bottle of wine, and a box that Merlin had requested. He made sure not to react at all when Eggsy answered the door naked.

"Hello sir." Eggsy said politely. "Please come in." 

"Thank you Jaimie." Harry walked in. 

"May I take those for you?" Eggsy asked and Harry handed the items over. "Duncan is in the living room." Eggsy took the items to the dining room and put them on the table. He made his way back to the living room where Harry was seated and Merlin was pouring him a martini. Eggsy looked at Merlin who nodded. Eggsy settled himself back down on his cushion on the floor. When Merlin sat back down, Eggsy leaned into him just a little and closed his eyes.

Harry looked at Merlin, but Merlin was looking down at Eggsy.

Oh fuck, was all Harry could think.

 

_A Few Hours Earlier_

"Merlin." Harry began. "Do you think you two would be ready this weekend. The club we are investigating is having a fancy dress party and we managed to procure you an invitation."

There was a bit of silence.

"Problems?" Harry asked.

"I don't know." Merlin finally said. "Things were going well, very well. He had started to trust me, we had progressed to full intercourse, after having done well at a club. But -"

"But?" Harry asked.

"We might have to call this off, something has changed. Eggsy is pulling back a bit."

"Explain."

There was a huff and a sigh. "I can't. It just there was this perfect night and since then we've been pushing a little further, a fair bit of rope, service, praise, all the stuff, so that by the time we hit the club, it is clear that he is my boy, that we can pull this off. I thought we had this, but the last couple of days, there is just this distance. And I don't know what to do." Merlin sounded so frustrated.

"Is this just you nitpicking or is it actually obvious?" Harry asked.

"I have no damn idea Arthur, if I did I could give you a formal answer." Merlin grouched.

"Duncan what's going on?" Harry heard Eggsy ask.

"Nothing lad, just talking to Harry. I have some concerns about us pulling this off at the club. I don't know if we can properly sell it." Merlin had switched his phone to speaker.

"You mean you don't know if I can properly sell it. Still, after everything we've been doing." Eggsy said, voice a little sharp.

"No Jaimie, we just need to be so perfect, these people will be able to tell if we are false. And something doesn't feel right."

"Okay, think you're panicking over nothing, guv." Eggsy said easily.

"Really, so you haven't been just a little chillier in comparison to how you were at the club?" Merlin asked.

Harry wondered if they remembered that he was still on the line.

"Yeah. Yeah. There was something I just had to work through in my head, but I've got it sorted now." Eggsy explained. "What if we had an objective third party?"

"Explain." Merlin's voice was firm.

"Like we invite Harry there for dinner, and we keep doing like how we've been doing. If he says that we look legit then we hit the club soon. He says it clearly feels like a put on, we can call it quits."

"Lad, are ye sure ye want Harry to -"

"Wot, see me naked and on my knees?" Harry could hear practically hear Eggsy's shrug. "The second we hit the club, someone is going to be monitoring us through yer glasses, and I was going to ask that it be Harry anyways. Only one besides you I trust on that other side."

"I agree with...Jaimie." Harry choked on the name a little, so used to calling him Eggsy.

"Very well, it is not a bad plan. Harry can you make it around 7?" Merlin asked. "Lad go make me some tea please."

Merlin switched the phone back off speaker. "Harry I'll need ye to go to my house. There is a brown wooden box in my wardrobe, top shelf on the left. Bring it along please."

"Of course." Harry hung up and went over the notes for the job.

****************

The oven dinged just as they were finishing their cocktail.

"Sir, I'll go." Eggsy said quietly. Merlin nodded and lightly pushed at the back of Eggsy's neck. Eggsy nodded to the two men and went to plate dinner.

"I don't know what to do with him not being mouthy." Harry finally said. "Fantastic ass though."

Merlin growled just a little. 

"Oh put it away." Harry said waving a hand. "You know I don't like them young." 

Merlin had the grace to look a little abashed.

"Is he completely?"

"Submissive. God no, he's still a mouthy, cheeky bastard a good bit of the day." Merlin said. He didn't care for how relieved Harry looked. "Do ye really think I'd try to break him like that?"

"No. No Duncan, I know that's not you." Harry sighed. "I looked into his past a little more thoroughly after some of the things you told me. I was not pleased. When this is done, I think you and I will be going to have a talk with some men."

Merlin grinned, sharp, dangerous. "I'll enjoy that." Merlin could hear Eggsy finishing up. "He's still him Harry. But now there's just this other part he plays."

"Let's see how well he plays it then." The two men went to the dining room where Eggsy had the table set beautifully.

"Lad, this looks wonderful, thank ye." Merlin said.

Harry watched the pleased little smile that bloomed on Eggsy's face. 

"You're the one that made the food." Eggsy said.

"Aye, but to have it served prettily, is a treat." Merlin reassured him. He held out the chair for Eggsy.

"Not your lap?" Eggsy sounded a little sad.

"Shepherd's pie is not exactly an easy meal to eat like that." Merlin scolded gently. "And we have company. Be a good lad, and ye can have dessert on my knee."

"Yes sir." Eggsy sat down. Merlin and Harry followed suit.

They talked quietly the three of them and Harry noticed that Eggsy was indeed still Eggsy, but there was an extra stillness to him now. He had a focus of energy that was new. Harry realized that all the puppy energy was gone, that he was settled into his skin. He watched the pleased flush that rose on Eggsy's face when Merlin would hold up a fork of food for Eggsy to eat. How the quietly said 'good lad' made Eggsy squirm just a little.

After they finished the meal, Merlin said he would make tea and bring dessert to the living room. He shooed the two men away.

Eggsy settled on the couch and Harry across the way in the chair.

Eggsy honestly seemed to have forgotten that he was nude in front of company.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked while Merlin was still out of the room.

And there, there was that look that Merlin had been talking about. It was only for a second, but there was a shadow in Eggsy's eyes.

"Yeah, bruv. Just doing the job. Bit weirder than average, and I'll probably need some extra time off after, but we're good."

Harry was going to push a little more, but Merlin came in with a tray. 

"Serve Harry his tea and some of the dessert and then ye can sit either on the floor or on my lap, while we all talk about the job." Merlin said.

Eggsy put together a small plate for Harry and handed it over, along with some tea. He then brought a plate to Merlin and happily snuggled into his lap. Harry watched as Merlin fed Eggsy a few bites of cake.

The three talked about the job, what Harry and Roxy had learned about the club, some of the members. Who they were potentially looking for. They were going in with less intel than they would like, but the place was shrouded in secrecy.

Harry watched as Eggsy began to grow restless. He looked at his watch and saw it had reached ten. Harry knew Merlin enough to know that by now they would have long started any planned activity for the night. But he also knew they weren't quite done.

Merlin looked at Harry, his gaze hard but somehow questioning. Harry nodded and leaned back a little and crossed his legs. They never did have to talk to communicate.

Merlin's hand went to the back of Eggsy's neck and was firm.

"Problem lad?" Merlin asked.

Eggsy immediately stilled. "No sir."

"Because that is a lot of wiggling and squirming you are doing there." Merlin's grip grew a little tighter on his neck and Eggsy couldn't stop the moan. "Is there something ye need?"

"Is Harry leaving soon?" Eggsy asked squirming even more.

"Sit still lad." Merlin said sternly. "Harry and I are not done talking."

"Yes sir." Eggsy stilled and listened while Merlin and Harry had what seemed like a boring and useless conversation. Why wouldn't Harry just leave. And now they were talking about updating the databases. Eggsy started to squirm again.

"Jaimie!" Merlin said sharply.

Oh crap, Eggsy thought. He stilled and looked at Merlin. 

"I'm sorry sir." Eggsy said, biting his lip. He wanted to look over at Harry but didn't dare.

"I'm sure you are. But still you disappoint me, since when don't you listen?" Merlin's voice was still stern.

"I'll be good." Eggsy said.

"Yes you will." Merlin looked at Harry. "I'm sorry Harry, I expected better behaviour out of him, my apologies."

Eggsy gasped. "Hey! That's not fair. He's the one having a bullshit unnecessary conversation with you, when this is supposed to be our time now. I was good for the whole dinner and even after!"

"Aye and we agreed this afternoon that ye would be my good lad until Harry left and that if ye were, ye could have a nice reward. I even had Harry bring something from my home, for me to give to you, but now, I highly doubt ye can have it, if ye can't even manage to sit still for a little extra time." Merlin was unforgiving. "Go get the lube from the bedroom and then return and put yourself across my lap on your forearms and knees so that ye aren't actually touching me."

Merlin raised a brow and waited.

Eggsy just looked at him. He glanced at Harry who just sat there drinking tea like nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Harry who would be monitoring them on the mission, who would be seeing far more over the course of this mission. Harry who knew how good Merlin was in bed. Harry who Eggsy was feeling weirdly jealous of, for having been with Merlin for real.

Eggsy looked at Merlin, who was waiting for Eggsy to either obey or safety out. Merlin who had a patient look on his face, ready to accept whatever Eggsy chose.

"Yes sir." Eggsy said. He went to the bedroom and retrieved the lube. He carefully set himself up on the couch as Merlin had requested on all fours, his ass hovering over Merlin's lap. His cock hung down but didn't touch Merlin. He waited perfectly still.

"There's my good lad. Ye look very beautiful." Merlin ran a soothing hand over Eggsy's back and down his flank. "Harry, isn't he a sight?" Merlin asked.

"He is." was all Harry said as he sipped his tea.

"Now Jaimie, we are going to practice patience. All ye have to do is stay still." Merlin said. 

"Yes sir." Eggsy heard the soft snick of the lid and then felt Merlin's slick finger press against him. And then nothing. Merlin just left his finger there, pressing against Eggsy's hole, but not trying to enter him, not drawing little circles, nothing. Just pressing against him. Eggsy wanted to push back, force that finger into him and realized that was the point. He took a breath and didn't move.

"Good lad, such a good lad." Merlin said in a soft burr, his free hand patting Eggsy's hair. He then placed his tea cup and saucer on Eggsy's back. "Stay like this while I finish my tea and talk with Harry."

"Yes sir." Eggsy replied, being so careful not to move.

Merlin started his conversation up with Harry once more. He would pick up his tea and drink, not hurried but he was careful to not draw this out too much. He kept that finger just pressing against Eggsy. Eggsy could feel himself getting hard from just the constant press of that finger. His eyes began to water with the strain of it all.

He had no idea what Harry and Merlin were even talking about at this point, all his focus on staying as still as possible. On being good.

He breathed out when the tea cup left his back, muscles dying to slump. He saw Merlin's free hand rest beside his own. "You are doing so well, darling lad, my Jaimie. Can ye give me one more minute, just one more minute and then ye are done. Touch my fingers if ye can." And Eggsy hooked his pinkie over Merlin's index finger. "Wonderful. Time beginning now." 

Merlin rubbed his thumb over Eggsy's hand, giving him an extra anchor along with the finger that was still just pressing against his ass.

"Time." Merlin said quietly. Eggsy collapsed his face down onto the sofa cushions. The finger moved away from his ass and he moaned at the loss.

"Shh, there's a good lad. Ye did so wonderful, listened to me, did exactly what I asked for. Now ye may have a little treat. Can ye get yourself back up onto your forearms, like ye were before?"

"In a minute?" Eggsy asked.

"Of course lad, take all the time ye need." Merlin said, holding Eggsy's hand.

After a few moments Eggsy got himself back up.

"Good lad, such a wonderful man Jaimie, to have stayed still like I asked. Now, now ye can move." Merlin said as he carefully slid his finger into Eggsy. He stayed still, let Eggsy adjust. "Now lad, move, fuck yourself on my finger and tell me when ye are ready for a second." And Merlin resumed his conversation with Harry.

Eggsy wasn't quite sure what to do. He stayed still for a moment, wondering if this was still a test, but Merlin's free hand was gripping his fingers tight. Eggsy cautiously, slowly moved forward a little and then pushed back against the finger until it was fully inside him. He repeated the action slowly, arching his back just a little. 

Merlin's fingers tightened around his, even as he paid attention to what Harry was saying.

Eggsy moved a little quicker, liking the feel of the finger inside him, but soon he wanted more. "Two sir?" Eggsy asked.

He felt Merlin pull out and then there were two slick fingers pressed against him, just waiting. Eggsy looked over at Harry, whose eyes were on Merlin's face, fully aware of what was going on, but not watching directly. Eggsy bit his lip and pushed back so the two fingers were in him. Eggsy was so hard, he knew he was dripping onto Merlin's lap. His shoulders and arms were starting to feel a bit of strain, but before he could comment, Merlin's hand moved from holding Eggsy's fingers, to helping prop his chest up.

Eggsy rolled his hips and with the extra support was able to start moving faster. It killed him that other than his hands, Merlin was seeming to ignore him for conversation with Harry. Eggsy wanted more. "Three sir." Eggsy demanded.

"Of course, Jaimie." Both hands momentarily left Eggsy and he felt a little cold. But soon that warm hand was back on his chest, spread over his heart holding him up. Merlin's fingers barely touched his ass, before Eggsy was pushing back, drawing them into his body.

Eggsy rocked himself hard on those fingers, those damn fingers that weren't moving, making Eggsy do all the work. Eggsy's whole body was straining from the position, from the movement, he just wanted more and more. He was gasping, almost sobbing as he rocked back onto Merlin's hand.

"Harry could ye bring me the box?" Merlin asked.

Harry stood without a word and brought the small box back into the living room. 

"Put it in his line of sight, please Harry." Merlin's burr was thicker from his own arousal.

Harry put the box where Eggsy could see it easily and opened it. He looked at Merlin who nodded and Harry ran a gentle hand through Eggsy's hair before resuming his seat.

Eggsy stared at the thin collar in the box. It was a light brown leather, blue padding on the inside, and a delicate black buckle and D-ring.

"I've had that for a while lad. Bought it but never given to any other, never suited them. But I think ye would quite beautiful in it. Would you be interested in it?" Merlin asked.

"Yes sir." Eggsy said, staring at it.

"Good." Merlin said, and then for the first time he curved his fingers and pressed hard on Eggsy's prostate.

Eggsy screamed and came all over Merlin's lap.

All that was holding up Eggsy was Merlin's hands. 

Merlin pulled his fingers out of Eggsy and wiped them on his napkin and gave a cursory wipe down of his lap. He moved Eggsy around so that he was properly sitting in his lap. Merlin completely forgot about Harry sitting there as he ran soothing hands over Eggsy and praised how well his lad had done.

Harry stood and handed a blanket to Merlin, who wrapped Eggsy up.

"You're approved to follow the mission through to the end, you easily can pass for a couple in a long term relationship. I'll see myself out." He said quietly. Harry headed out, looking back one, to see Merlin still whispering praise and feeding Eggsy cake.

Once clear of the flat Harry pulled out his phone and ordered Lancelot to meet him at the office.

Harry arrived shortly before Lancelot and had a whiskey waiting for her - he was on his second.

"We have a problem." Harry said after she came in and was seated.

"What's that sir?" She asked.

"We made a bad call putting them together for this mission." Harry swallowed a great deal of whiskey.

"No, sir we didn't." Roxy protested, she had yet to touch her drink. "Aside from the fact that they were indeed the only two capable of infiltrating this club convincingly, this was the best way to finally get those two to shag." Roxy looked at Harry. "We both agreed after having to listen to both of them go on about how hot the other was, that this would get rid of their pining and tension that they both pretended wasn't there."

"Yes, but when I just thought they were attracted to each other." Harry looked at her. "They are clearly falling in love. Eggsy looks at him like he's everything and Merlin had me bring him the collar that he always said was meant for his forever partner. And we set them up to fuck for a mission, thinking that's all they needed, and this is all going to blow up in our faces and hurt our friends immeasurably by the end."

Roxy grabbed her glass and drank it in one go. "Oh fuck."

"Exactly." Harry agreed.

They both just sat there and got quietly drunk.

Across town, Merlin quietly put the collar around Eggsy's neck.

 

 

 

 

 


	8. The Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we're back, promise to make up for the absence.

They had been to the club in question three times now. It was called Puritan, which Merlin had sneered and rolled his eyes at. "They could try at least." He had said, as they sipped watered martinis.

Eggsy...didn't like the place. It wasn't the dark, grimy sort of club he had known before the Kingsman, and it wasn't the place Merlin had taken him to practice. That place had a warmth, a sense of community. Eggsy wanted to go back there, here he just wanted to be done with.

They were back at the flat and Eggsy felt jittery. "Wot is it about that place Duncan?"

"Aside from the name?" Merlin asked dryly, reading an email from Harry and not paying too much attention to Eggsy.

"Can you drop the fucking name already?" Eggsy yelled.

Merlin put his tablet down carefully and looked at Eggsy. He saw the finger that tapped against Eggsy's leg, the strain around his mouth.

"Talk to me lad." Merlin moved closer. "Talk to me." He cupped his hand on Eggsy's jaw. 

"It's nothing." Eggsy said, upset he had made a fuss.

"No." Merlin's voice was firm. "You have a good eye, good instincts. Talk it out."

"It's cold in there. Not just the temperature, though they keep that a couple degrees down to make nipples all perky." Eggsy looked at Merlin. "It's cold in there, all performance and just display, which sure that's a part of all this, but not the whole of it. Do the people there really even enjoy what they are doing, or just trying to impress each other?"

"The look is so modern, but still that little out of date yeah? Almost a clinical feel." Eggsy sighed. "And your place, I was new, even if you weren't and it felt welcoming, like yes you are a freak but you are our sort of freak."

"These desires don't make ye a freak Eggsy." Merlin said quietly, a little hurt by the thought that maybe that was how Eggsy viewed him.

"No!" Eggsy stepped away from Merlin. "Not like that." He pulled at his hair. "Guh. Okay, it felt like a comic book convention."

"Ye've lost me." Merlin was thoroughly confused.

"It's a place where your weird ass can be itself and everyone gets you, at least a little, personal tastes might be different, but when you walk in the doors you know they are your people." Eggsy looked at Merlin. "The club we're staking out, don't got that feel. Feels like people wanted to cater to a set without knowing what they wanted, like they read a book and put up an idea of it, without thinking it through."

Merlin thought about it. "It's not that information happens to be funneled through this club, it's that the club was always meant to be a front for funneling information. They put all this sex on top, people will just assume what is under is more sex, not political secrets." Merlin nodded. "We have the players right, but were looking at the means wrong. We'll have Harry and a couple others do some more digging." 

Eggsy breathed out, relieved that Merlin understood. "We need to change our mindset a little in there I think." Merlin said after thinking for a few minutes.

"Oh?" Eggsy tilted his head.

"We've been trying to blend in. I think perhaps it is time for us to stand out, don't you?" Merlin asked. 

"Yeah, yeah that could work." Eggsy thought about it. "When we going back?"

"Three nights. We'll need to do a little shopping first." Merlin replied. "In the mean time though, I have to apologize to ye Jaimie, I should have paid better attention to your mood. Now what do ye need from me tonight?"

Eggsy whispered into Merlin's ear. Merlin grinned. "I'll give ye a 10 second head start." Eggsy took off running.

*******************************

Three nights later they stood out front in their coats. "Are ye ready?" Merlin asked him quietly.

"Of course sir." They handed their coats over at the front desk and the clerk licked his lips at the sight of Eggsy, shirtless, in tight trousers.

Merlin carefully attached the leash to the collar and did up the hook connecting the cuffs together. Up until now they had been conservative, Eggsy wearing his collar and keeping his eyes down. Now they pushed harder. 

And sure enough the cool air caused Eggsy's nipples to tighten. 

They walked into the main room and over to the bar. Merlin order a scotch for himself and sat on a stool. He snapped a finger and Eggsy knelt on the floor, let Merlin use his shoulder as a foot rest. They had carefully talked it out before and realized that they needed to perform the show of the lifestyle, not actually be a part of the lifestyle to get noticed by management. Eggsy figured they watched some shitty skinimax movies to put the place together.

No bloody kneeling pads even. 

20 minutes later a woman approached Merlin. "Sir." She said politely. She ignored Eggsy entirely. "I see you're becoming a bit of regular. Would you perhaps care to discuss a more involved membership that includes access to the more intimate rooms."

"Aye, that sounds lovely." Merlin agreed. He kissed her hand and stepped off the stool. He tugged on Eggsy's chain and they all walked slowly to allow Eggsy time to crawl.

An hour later, Eggsy's knees were killing him but all sorts of paperwork had been signed. The one advantage was that Eggsy was well able to bug the office.

Merlin was ready to move them out, but the woman smiled. It wasn't a welcoming smile. "Now we do ask that new members such as yourself consider putting on a little show in one of the rooms. A gesture of...solidarity and respect."

Shit they hadn't talked about that possibility. Eggsy gave the barest nod of his head. Merlin knew his limits and Eggsy trusted Merlin implicitly.

"Of course, I understand." Merlin said with a smile. "I'm a fair hand with bondage and we could do a lovely rope demonstration, or perhaps, spanking if ye need something more active."

"Hmmm a combination would go over quite well, I should think." The woman came around the table and pet Eggsy's hair. "Tell me, do you share?"

Eggsy refused to look up, stayed very still.

"If ye want to keep that lovely manicure, remove it from my boy. I do not share." Merlin's voice didn't get hard or stern, but he felt the woman flinch quickly away.

"A shame. That will exclude you from certain spaces where touching is encouraged. Just stay away from rooms with green numbers and everything will be fine."

"How many rooms are there for the more exclusive members?" Merlin asked.

"8. Plus another 3 private rooms." The woman lead them out of her office and to a door just a few feet down. She opened it and there was a wide hall with some people milling about. "Would be ready in 20 minutes? Room 2 with the red numbers." She turned and left them.

Merlin walked Eggsy over to a quiet corner. "Are ye okay with this?"

"Of course sir." Eggsy nodded. 

"I'll do a simple but attractive diamond rope pattern over your torso, hands bound behind your back. Twenty open palm smacks and we should be good." Merlin was rubbing the back of Eggsy's neck.

"Sir, you know that won't be enough of a show. First we have to get me naked, then what you talked about, and follow it up with me sucking you off. That should give them what they want." Merlin was about to protest but Eggsy made quick eye contact. "Sir, we need to stay on this side of that door, we have to play this game. They want us to prove ourselves, to put on a show, well we'll give them one, yeah guv?"

Merlin smiled, one filled with warmth, just for Eggsy. "Aye lad. Always so clever, my clever boy." Eggsy flushed a little. "Mmmm, yes. My clever, beautiful Jaimie. I know you'll do well for me. Don't think of the ones who will be watching. Ye just keep your focus all on me."

"Yes. Yes sir." Eggsy breathed out.

Merlin noticed the people watching them and pulled hard on the lead to Eggsy's collar, kissed him, hard, all teeth, no softness. He pushed Eggsy back a little and checked his eyes. Eggsy didn't say a word. Merlin nodded and snapped his fingers. "Down lad."

Eggsy hit the floor and crawled after Merlin, who made a show of seeming hard on the lead, but Eggsy never felt a drop of tightness on his throat.

They took to the stage in the room. It was just so obvious a spotlight on the centre, the tables and couches in shadow. Some supplies to the side that Merlin went to explore. Eggsy stayed kneeling in that light, head up.

"Head down boy." A voice called from the shadows. Eggsy ignored it. "Listen to your betters lad, and put your head down. Or hasn't your master trained you well? Bet I could get your head down." The was a laugh from the crowd. The door shut. Time for the show. 

Merlin's steps to Eggsy echoed in the room. "You are mistaken." His voice was hard. "He might be my sub, but trust me, none of you are his betters." There was a shocked murmur in the crowd but Merlin ignored them. He slowly wrapped the lead around his hand, drawing Eggsy up to standing with each loop. He moved in, letting his chest be flush to Eggsy's back, one more loop had Eggsy's head back, throat tilted up. Merlin tossed the lead over his shoulder and wrapped his fingers around the exposed column.

Eggsy moaned. "Shh, lad, my good lad, be quick for me." Eggsy closed his mouth. 

"You are free to treat your sub as you will, but I find a gentle and firm hand, with praise gets me more from my lad than your degradation ever will." Merlin moved his other hand to the front of Eggsy, showing the small palm blade. He ran it down Eggsy's chest, barely touching until at the fly of the trousers. With a small flick the blade sent the button flying. Eggsy's breath was coming quicker and he was getting hard. "Oh yes, my lad, my good beautiful lad will nae hold his head down in a play acted shame. He'll hold his head high, because he is proud to be my sub." Merlin used the knife to carefully push the zipper of the tight trousers down. Very carefully as Eggsy wasn't wearing pants. Soon the zipper parted and Eggsy's cock would have sprung up, but was being pressed down by the knife. Merlin drew the blade slowly, so very slowly up Eggsy's length, and up his pelvis, shaving a little hair on the way. There was a moan from the crowd.

"My good Jaimie. So proud of you." Merlin whispered quietly in his ear before moving his fingers to bite Eggsy's throat hard, knife still held against Eggsy's stomach. When he let go, Eggsy was breathing hard enough that he nicked himself on the knife.

"Tsk, tsk, look what you did." Merlin said, looking at the thin red line, the couple small drops of blood. "Just cannae stay still no matter what we do. But don't worry lad, I'll help you stand still. Step out of the trousers." Merlin stepped away and put the knife down, returning with rope. "Good lad, didn't touch yourself. I know you are aching and needing release, and maybe, maybe a very good lad can have some later." Merlin cupped Eggsy's face for a moment. Eggsy winked and tilted just a little so that he could pull Merlin's thumb into his mouth - he sucked hard.

"Oh, cheeky." Merlin said. He stepped back and snapped the rope, it made a nice sound. He faced Eggsy out to the crowd and bound him slowly, made a show of it, stopping to touch Eggsy, play with his nipples, leave the occasional bite. but soon enough Eggsy's chest and arms were bound wrists trapped to chest with the cuffs still joined. "Ye look beautiful." Merlin said loudly. "But I think perhaps you lack some colour."

Merlin pulled the chair closer and sat down, legs a little spread. He tilted Eggsy onto his lap. Merlin squeezed Eggsy's ass. "I feel comfortable saying lad, ye have the best ass, I've ever played with, just beautiful. Now ye may speak. Count off for 20."

Merlin brought his hand down firmly. 

"One."

A harder smack. "Care to try that again?" Merlin's voice was a little harsher.

"One, sir." Eggsy said.

"Better. Good lad, very good."

A slightly lighter smack.

"Two sir."

Merlin kept up a steady pace, each hit just a little harder. By the end Eggsy was gasping, not sobbing, not quite.

"Twenty, sir."

Merlin pulled him up and sat him in his lap, facing the crowd. Merlin had been able to hear people masturbating or playing themselves during the show and he could hear a lot of response to the sight of Eggsy's teary face, gasping for breath, gorgeous cock, leaking precome.

Merlin wrapped his fingers around that cock and gave it a few pulls. "How close are ye lad?"

"Very, sir."

"How many pulls do ye think?" Merlin asked.

"10 at most."

"Very good, my beautiful lad. So good for me, so perfect." Merlin pulled on Eggsy's cock, twisting at the top, to pull down the precome, to ease the way just a light. Eggsy was dancing on his lap moaning. Merlin could feel him start to tense and stopped on the eighth pull.

"No. No I dinnae think ye will come right now, that pleasure I will save for myself for later." Merlin groaned and picked Eggsy up and spun him around for a hard kiss. He reached over and grabbed the knife and drew it down Eggsy's back as they kissed, parting the ropes, freeing Eggsy. He threw the knife to the ground and looked at Eggsy. Eggsy was gone in the pleasure of it all. Merlin pushed him down to the ground and stood, undoing his trousers.

Eggsy immediately leaned forward and pulled Merlin's cock into his mouth. Between the angle of Eggsy and where Merlin held his hair, the crowd barely saw anything of Merlin. It drove them even more wild. Merlin again put on a good show, made it look like he was pulling Eggsy's hair hard, that he was choking him, but he was as gentle as could be. It was Eggsy who pushed close enough to deep throat.

"Do not spill a drop." Merlin warned and he came in Eggsy's mouth. Eggsy swallowed it all and hid his revulsion at the bit of taste he got. He always figured the advantage to learning to deep throat was avoiding the taste, which he had managed to do for the most part.

Merlin tucked himself away. "Show's over folks, thank ye for watching. I hope my beautiful and talented lad impressed you."

There was applause and even one whistle. The spotlight turned off and soft lights along the wall turned on. Merlin sat Eggsy on the chair and checked the cut on his stomach, washed it with a little water, checked that the cuffs hadn't chafed at any point. Merlin offered praise the whole time, and promised when they were home, Eggsy would be well rewarded. Merlin thought he heard the heckler from the beginning sneering at the after care but he ignored it, focused on his lad. 

The woman who had been with them earlier came up to them. "That was impressive. I would like to invite you to a party we are having in a week for our exclusive members. You are new, but I do think the two of you will appeal to the owners."

"Thank ye, we look forward to it."

"I will email you the invitation. In the meantime, we hope to see you here before then." She nodded and left them.

"Get dressed lad. Let's be away." Merlin said. 

Eggsy did as he was told and went to wait by the door. The heckler tried to touch Eggsy and Eggsy stepped to the side. The man growled a little but subsided when Merlin came over. Merlin held Eggsy's lead and they collected their coats and left.

Merlin was incredibly restless the whole drive home. Eggsy wondered what was wrong with him. Eggsy was restless too, but that was from the orgasm denied. He was hungry for Merlin's touch. It was easy to figure out though once they were inside and stripped of their coats. Merlin easily picked Eggsy up and slammed him into the wall. Eggsy wrapped his legs around Merlin's waist and just held on as the older man kissed him hungrily, desperately. "Be as loud as ye like lad." Merlin said as he kissed his way down Eggsy's neck. The made out like that for a while, Eggsy lost all sense of time with Merlin's hands digging into his ass, his teeth pushing on Eggsy's collarbone.

"I dinnae like in there. Ye are right, the whole place feels off. I want to play with ye on my stage, at my club, where everyone is encouraging. Where I don't want to claw their eyes out for daring to look at my perfect lad and think they know him."

Fuck, Eggsy thought. He can't. He can't say things like that and not expect me to fall in love with him.

Merlin let Eggsy down slowly and pulled him over to the couch. He gently pushed Eggsy to sit down and pulled the lube out of a drawer. He undid the cuffs around Eggsy's wrists and gently kissed the skin. 

"You were so beautiful in there, strong, proud, my beautiful lad. So good for me, responded so well. I was worried about the knife, but ye didn't flinch once. Incredible."

"I trust you Duncan." Eggsy said truthfully, simply. "I  _trust_ you."

"I am grateful for that lad." Merlin said. "Now put your hands behind your back, I'll not cuff them again tonight but just ask that you leave them back there." 

"Yes sir." Eggsy said, putting his hands behind his back. He also slid down the couch a little.

"I know ye like a slow fingering lad, but I am hungry to feel ye around me. May I push a little?"

"Of course sir, my body is yours." Eggsy said.

"Oh, lad." Merlin said fondly, sadly. "Haven't you learned yet, isn't just about your body. I want your mind to, that pretty little brain, I want it wired to my whims." Merlin smiled, dropped a kiss on Eggsy's thigh. "But for now your body will do nicely." 

He lay a series of kisses and bites on Eggsy's thighs, laved at his balls and when he began to suck on Eggsy's cock, he pushed one slicked finger into the lad, hard. Eggsy shouted at the sensations pushing at him. He had still been so wired from the show. Merlin was sucking hard, the barest scrape of teeth, just to give a bit of an edge and quicker than he might have otherwise pushed a second finger in. Eggsy was dying, babbling, begging Merlin for more. 

Merlin pulled off Eggsy's cock, "Really Jaimie, want more do ye?"

"Yes sir, oh fuck please, just please." Eggsy begged.

Merlin pulled his two fingers out and was very liberally lubed up his cock, knowing Eggsy wasn't quite stretched enough. He then pulled Eggsy down off the couch, onto his lap, onto his cock. Merlin didn't rush, just slowly pushed into Eggsy.

Eggsy swore, it hurt, just on the edge of good and bad pain, but Merlin didn't rush, even stilled until Eggsy nodded and then with a sharp pull had Eggsy in his lap, fully seated on his cock. 

"Fuck, Jaimie, so perfect around me, you feel so good." Merlin said. He lifted Eggsy up and brought him back down. Eggsy tried to help but he was just so lost to the feeling, the orgasm building along his spine. Merlin just kept lifting him up and down and Eggsy let him. "Oh lad, feel free to come whenever ye want."

"Oh thank Christ." Eggsy said. One more up and down and he simply said "sir" as he came all over their laps. 

It was a few more lifts and thrusts and Merlin was coming. They stayed on the ground catching their breath. Merlin realized that Eggsy had kept his hands behind his back the whole time.

"Lad, good work, so beautiful. Look how good you were for me. Kept the command, even after I wouldn't have care. I am so proud of ye." Merlin kissed him gently for the first time that night.  "I'm sorry for the rush, but after those eyes on ye, I needed to claim you, own your body."

"Sir, I am totally okay with that, though maybe a shower?" Eggsy asked.

"Aye." Merlin agreed. They separated and made their way to the shower, where Merlin took the time to scrub Eggsy down, enjoying each soapy touch, loving how Eggsy purred under his hands.

They dried off and got into bed. And Eggsy almost reached out but stopped, he didn't want to see too needy.

But Merlin saw the gesture and pulled Eggsy in. Eggsy just sank into Merlin, so grateful for the warmth of him.

"We'll not go for a couple days, recharge our batteries, see if we learn anything from the bugs we planted." Merlin said, stroking Eggsy's hair. Eggsy was drifting, happy from the orgasm, from Merlin's praise, felt like he could just float away.

"I cannot believe that man heckling like that. Who does that? Amateur at best, cruel wanker at most." Merlin said. "I am sorry that our first time on a stage had to be like that."

Eggsy was drifting to sleep. "It's okay sir."

"No, their security should have at least shushed the man."

Eggsy yawned and snuggled in even more. "I'm sure he just figured since he used to dom me, he could get away with more. Night Duncan." 

Eggsy fell asleep not really aware of the information that he had just dropped on Merlin. He was just happy to be in the man's arms.


	9. Use Your Words

Merlin waited until they finished breakfast before he asked Eggsy about the dom.

"Oh him? He's the one from the library that I mentioned." Eggsy said easily, dismissively. "The one who liked to put me in high heels and stuff." He looked at Merlin and then looked at his juice glass. But the man didn't get the hopeful hint. Eggsy sighed and got his drink himself. He had grown to love when Merlin fed him breakfast. "Why you so frowny? Thought last night would still have you happy. Really good sex and really good progress on the case."

"I dinnae like how he spoke to ye before I knew he was one of your abusers." Merlin replied.

"Not abuse Merlin. Wanker sure, but he didn't hit me, always dropped me back at the estate when we were done. Even a couple times -" Eggsy quickly shut his mouth.

Merlin looked at the lad sitting in his lap and came to a quick decision. He put his hands under Eggsy's ass and stood up, Eggsy automatically wrapped his legs around Merlin's waist. Merlin walked them swiftly back to the bedroom, where he wrapped them up in the soft comforter. The light was dim, the blinds still pulled. It was a cozy nest and Eggsy snuggled in.

"Jaimie." Merlin wrapped his arms even tighter around Eggsy. "Ye don't have to tell me anything ye don't want."

Eggsy lay his head on Merlin's shoulder. "A couple times, money got a little tight. I made sure when he picked me up to mention, heat prices going up, cupboards being bare for a couple days. And maybe he pushed a little more on those days, maybe I was willing to be more into what he wanted, put on the lace panties, let him take some photos, let him face fuck me in front of his friends, call me girl, put me in lipstick. And then when he dropped me off, my pockets were a little less empty, and Mum and I had more to eat than air." 

Merlin was silent.

Eggsy grew tense. "Never worked a corner or anything, never set out to charge him, considered it more like picking up your friend's coffee when they are a quid short." Still nothing. "Say fucking something Duncan. Call me a whore, a slag, just get it over with."

He felt a gentle kiss on the top of his head. "Your personal strength always surprises me. Ye leave me in awe lad."

Eggsy went very still in his arms. "You can't." He paused. "Don't. Please. Just don't." He hated how close it sounded to begging. 

"I'll be quiet if ye like, but ye cannae stop the esteem I hold you in lad." Merlin said.

"Okay Mr. Darcy." Eggsy said quickly, trying to lighten the moment.

"I feel more Mr Knightly." Merlin falls in line with what Eggsy wants. "What should we do about the gentleman?"

"Nothing." Eggsy said.

"He recognizes you." Merlin said.

"Yeah as a sub, he dumped for someone a little softer, a little younger who came along." Eggsy said. "He clearly been there a while, they know him. He disappears might cause more a disturbance than not."

Merlin thought about it. "Fair point. Still give his name, so we can ask Harry to do some research on him, see if he's a player in our problem at all."

Eggsy snorted. "Ain't no way that blokes a spy." Before Merlin could ask again though, Eggsy offered. "Carl Mason."

"Thank ye Jaimie." Merlin said. "Now then, whatever shall we do today?"

"We going to the club tonight?" Eggsy asked.

"Nae." Merlin said. "Can't decide whether it is a good play to seen a little more before the party or seem a little mysterious after our performance and wait until the party. Your thoughts?"

Eggsy thought about the place and how much he didn't like it there, and how much he just wanted to keep Merlin to himself for the next few days, but the mission. "No, we should do once more, see if we can see into a couple more of the rooms. A few more bugs, get a few more faces on camera."

"Good thought lad, but for now, I think this morning, ye perhaps require a nice shower together and then some kneeling time?" Merlin asked.

"Yeah, that'd be aces guv." Eggsy said.

****************************

Their second visit past the main areas didn't yield any immediate results. They had a few new faces to research, had bugs placed, watched a couple rather uninspired shows. The man, Carl, watched Eggsy whenever they were in the same room as him, but he stayed well away.

Still, Merlin didn't like the look of him. When they got back to the flat that night (Merlin refused to acknowledge how often his brain called it home), Merlin blindfolded Eggsy and put earbuds in the lad, telling him to just enjoy. Merlin broke him apart, Eggsy never knowing where Merlin's touch or lips would be next.

He was horrified when he saw the lines he had left on Merlin's shoulders from holding so tight when Merlin sucked his cock.

"Shit, Duncan, I'm so sorry. Fuck, let me go get a cloth, wipes, bandaids." Eggsy was babbling, looking at the lines.

Merlin laughed and pinned Eggsy down again. "Nae, lad, ye didn't even break skin, the lines will have long faded by the morning."

"But I hurt you." Eggsy said.

"Aye, a little." Merlin said easily.

Eggsy couldn't stop the small whimper. Merlin kissed him. "I wanted ye to lose control, Jaimie. I wanted to drive you mad and I did and you responded beautifully to it. Ye were everything I wanted to be in that moment lad. Ye did so good."

"Yeah?" Eggsy asked.

"Aye." Merlin smiled. He pressed his body against Eggsy's. "Feel. Even after this talk, still hard and aching for ye lad; you were so goddamn sexy."

Eggsy slid a hand between them. "Well how about I help out there?"

"How about?" Merlin replied and he felt Eggsy trying to push him up, so he scooted until he could sit up a bit and grab the headboard and fucked Eggsy's face.

****************************

It was the night of the party and they took a extra care with their appearance, Merlin making sure his head was completely smooth, Eggsy added just a little eyeliner. Merlin put on a suit, three piece but no tie. Eggsy tight trousers and a tighter shirt.

"Ye look good lad." Merlin's voice was thick.

"Not sure I can breathe in this." Eggsy joked.

"Well, I'll cut it off ye when we get home tonight." Merlin replied. He gave Eggsy a hard kiss and they went out the door.

They made their way to the club and the back hallway and noticed a different feel in the air, an anticipation. Eggsy didn't know why, but he shuffled closer to Merlin. Merlin's hand on the back of his neck was tight.

"Good evening sir." The woman who had extended their membership came up to them. "The party will begin shortly. Since this is your first time at one of these here." She handed Merlin a small black mask. "For your sub. At the party subs wearing nothing but this."

Eggsy looked at the cheap little thing in Merlin's hands. Sort of looked like a Lone Ranger mask, something you'd find at the grocery store toy aisle.

"You dictate to me how I dress my sub?" Merlin said. His grip on Eggsy's neck was almost painful.

"If you want into the best thing we do here, yes." She said. "I promise the show is worth it. The rooms back here will otherwise be empty tonight, the exclusive members at the party. Your choice of course." She walked away. They saw the other people milling around drift to the black door they hadn't ever made it through yet.

Merlin looked at the exit.

"Sir." Eggsy said quietly. "It's fine."

"Nae. It is against everything -"

"Sure, but remember not a real place and our job." Eggsy leaned into him and kissed Merlin. "So some tossers see my junk, again. It's yours innit? Never theirs." 

Merlin nodded and started to move. They went through the door where a couple doms waiting for subs to finish stripping down in the anteroom. Merlin looked at the other doms and rolled his eyes at their impatient demeanour. One of whom was Carl, who snapped at his sub.

Merlin looked at Eggsy and smiled. He moved behind Eggsy and ran his hands up and down Eggsy's torso a little. Eggsy sighed and leaned his head back onto Merlin. Merlin undid each button slowly, touching Eggsy a great deal. When he looked over, Carl was staring hungry and his sub looked so sad. Merlin shook his mood off and moved around to the front of Eggsy and finished stripping his lad down. They heard everyone else leave and soon Eggsy was naked and half hard.

"Do ye want to feel good before we go in there?" Merlin asked.

"No." Eggsy said. "Like the buzz under my skin."

"Very well." Merlin picked up the mask and took a few photo of it with his glasses and sent them to the office. He knew it was a dead end to look into the manufacturer, but they were being thorough. He slipped it over Eggsy's face. "There ye go lad."

"I feel like I'm in that shitty Kubrick movie right now." Eggsy muttered.

"Aye." Merlin agreed. He put his hand on Eggsy's neck and lead him through the second door. 

The lighting was dark, and the music loud with a heavy bass. There was a bar and along the one wall, tons of rope, a cross, cuffs. Some subs were already attached. It was a small crowd though maybe 20 to 30 people.

They walked the perimeter of the space and then back to the bar. "Drinks are complimentary tonight sir." The bartender said with a smile.

"Just two bottles of water please." Merlin said. "We'll take them as is." This place he wasn't trusting anything someone else poured. The bartender's smile was a little more stiff as he handed the two bottles over. Merlin moved them to a table and Eggsy went to kneel. Merlin snapped and pointed at his lap.

Eggsy looked at him confused, but went for the zipper of his trousers.

"Sit in my lap." Merlin said, voice hard.

"Oh, sorry sir." Eggsy replied.

Merlin kept scanning the room, sending the feed back to headquarters. "What is wrong in here?" He asked.

"Weird desperation." Eggsy said. "Last days of Rome?"

"Hmmm." Merlin snapped his head over and saw the woman talking to a couple people and them disappear behind a wall panel. "Well now that is worth keeping an eye on. Mark that spot Eggsy, we need to see how many go through there."

Eggsy looked at Merlin's throat and thought how it needed a nuzzle. So he nuzzled. "Of course sir." His voice was even softer than he had been playing it, a natural softness. He licked at Merlin's Adam's apple.

"Jaimie." Merlin's voice was just this side of stern. "Focus lad."

"Am, focusing on you. You're so fucking gorgeous Duncan. Just break my brain with what a sexy beast you are."

"Jaimie, now is not the time." Merlin said.

The music changed, slowed a bit. "Is it time to dance?" Eggsy asked hopefully. Merlin looked ready to protest. Eggsy thought quick. "Can monitor the area better from the dance floor. Blend in and all that." Eggsy said swiftly.

Merlin nodded and gently pushed Eggsy from his lap. He started a slow rhythm, but Eggsy kept trying to grind closer. "Jaimie, control yourself." Merlin ordered.

Eggsy straightened and tried to pay attention to their surroundings. Only he notice he wasn't the only sub feeling frisky tonight. There was a restlessness in the air, the subs were all moving a little too fast, a little too something. Eggsy tried to focus on what it was, but all he wanted was to feel Merlin against him. He did manage to notice the people come back. He pushed into Merlin. "They're back." He squinted. Different, something was different. What though, think, think, think. Merlin's cock. No wrong thought. Job. Here to do a job, don't disappoint Merlin and Harry, remind them Eggsy is useful, maybe they keep Eggsy. Maybe Merlin would keep Eggsy. "Keep me." Eggsy said.

"What?" Merlin asked.

Shit, shit, shit. Eggsy focused on the people and saw it. "The dom, he had been the other one in the change room with us. Tie pin is different."

Merlin looked over. "Good eye Jaimie. Proud of ye. Well spotted, my beautiful boy." He looked at the man, who was pulling his sub to the bar. "How light are your fingers feeling?"

"Lightest ever. Like clouds, like they could float away all happy and stuff. But, rest of me is naked. Well they are naked too, but you get my meaning."

"Ah." Merlin thought quickly. His fingers weren't as light as Eggsy's, but might be able to get the job done. "If ye were to cause a distraction I might be able to pull it off. But too soon after their return. We continue to just watch."

"So we can dance more." Eggsy immediately plastered himself against Merlin. "I like dancing with you. It makes me feel all funny and happy inside. Especially liked our dancing at the other club. Don't think it would be the same here. Oh that doesn't look fun." Eggsy said, seeing a dom push his sub into the play wall. But she seemed to be babbling, begging for it. Eggsy looked around more. "Duncan, why are all the subs so gagging for it?" Eggsy asked.

Merlin looked around the room and saw subs on their knees, on tables, on the wall. Many were begging. The scent of arousal was thick in the air. He looked at the doms and tried to put it all together, which was hard with Eggsy grinding into him so much.

"Jaimie, behave yourself. You aren't a bitch in heat." Merlin said sternly. Eggsy reared back in shock at the tone. "Do your job and think. We need to think."

Eggsy felt devastated by Merlin. He felt his lip wobble a bit. But he hardened his jaw. Merlin wanted him to work, then he would work. "Yes sir." He stepped back from Merlin. "Need to wee."

Merlin had seen the lip wobble and wanted to comfort his lad, but before he could say anything Eggsy was out of his arms and moving across the room, towards the small bathroom doors. Merlin decided to see if he could easily crack the wall where the people had gone through. He went over and saw a small keypad. It seemed to need both thumb print and number code. He let his glasses scan it. The cries of pleasure, of need were growing in the room, but something felt so off about it.

He needed to find Eggsy, get him out of there. He looked for Eggsy, sure he should be back by now. Only he could see him. Merlin started to walk around the room. He tried not to notice the woman tied to the wall who was crying, begging and getting nothing from her dom. His eyes scanned the room and then he found Eggsy by the bar, leaning over it a little. The man who was their target still there, getting sucked off by his sub. Watching as Carl ground into the back of Eggsy.

Merlin stormed over and yanked Carl away and threw a hand punch. "Mine." He growled to the man on the ground.

"Then tell your sub not to put their ass out there, beg anyone who walked by to make them feel better. To hurt them. Maybe if you actually gave the boy what he needs, he wouldn't have smiled at me so." Carl said on the ground. "Cute that you treat him all nice, but he loves the humiliation. Loves being your trash." Merlin started to move in, but felt Eggsy grab his arm. Merlin spun too quickly and it put Eggsy off balance and pushed him into the other man. There was a mass of flailing limbs and some confusion and then security finally came over and everyone was separated.

The woman came over. "I trust we have all calmed down?" Her voice was sharp.

Merlin and Carl nodded. "I think my lad and I are done tonight. Interesting party." Merlin said.

"Oh, but things are just heating up." The woman purred. "Everyone is feeling loose and like sharing. Are you sure you wouldn't want to stay?" She looked over at Eggsy, who had plastered himself to Merlin's back and was practically humping him.

And things finally clicked for Merlin. "Nae. My boy misbehaved and I am very disappointed in him. I am taking him home for punishment."

"Oh, but wouldn't you like to do that here?" She was almost begging.

"Not today, maybe next time." Merlin said. "Thank ye." He started to walk, Eggsy clinging. He made his voice hard. "Crawl, ye disgusting boy." He felt Eggsy flinch, but drop to the ground. They made their way back to the anteroom, Eggsy crying just a little as he crawled. Once they had the door closed, Merlin quickly pulled him up and ripped off the mask and stuffed into his pocket. "We need to get ye dressed." He said. "We need to get out of here." He held out Eggsy's trousers and still crying a little Eggsy stepped into the legs. Merlin didn't bother with Eggsy's shirt, just grabbed it and hustled Eggsy out of the club and into their car.

Eggsy spit into his hand in his seat and there was the tie pin. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry sir. I am disgusting, but I got the tie pin. That's good right? I only let Carl touch me to make a distraction to do the job. I did good. Didn't want his touch. Only yours. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Eggsy could stop babbling or shivering.

Merlin started driving faster. He tapped his glasses. "Harry get yer ass to the flat - fast. Eggsy's been drugged."

But all Eggsy heard was Harry. "You could share me with him. I don't want you to, but if it means you forgive me, you could. I don't want anyone else but I'll suck his cock if it makes you smile and call me good. Please, I'll do whatever you want Duncan, if it means you'll keep me." Eggsy just kept going making all sorts of promises, begging, and each word fell across Merlin, cracking his heart.

They pulled up to the building and Merlin carried him inside and settled him onto the couch, and ran to the kitchen to get some food and a gatorade. He came back to find Eggsy abject on the floor. He sat on the couch and tried to pull Eggsy up. "Please lad. For me. Come up here for me." Merlin said softly.

Eggsy managed to look up. "Please Daddy, you can really hurt me. I me really hurt me, if you promise to keep me."

And forget cracks, Merlin's heart was broken. "I don't want to hurt ye lad. Not like that."

"You do every time you don't call me Eggsy."

Merlin shuddered a little. "Eat, please. Just a little." Merlin couldn't get him up on the couch so he went to the ground and fed small pieces to Eggsy.

"My head hurts Daddy." Eggsy said.

"I know. I think the drug is peaking." Merlin heard the door open and Harry call out. Merlin responded and when Harry came in, he threw him the mask. "Skin contact activated."

Harry opened the small kit he had brought along and ran a swab. In a few minutes they had an analysis. "Non-lethal. Basically date rape drug. Just needs to work through his system." Harry's eyes were sad as he looked at the whimpering and dejected Eggsy on the ground. They stayed as they were until Eggsy passed out and Merlin carried him to the bedroom.

When he returned, he gave the tie pin to Harry. "We're done, we pull the plug on this mission."

"You didn't turn your glasses off in the car. I heard what he said." Harry put the pin in his pocket.

"Babbles of a drugged lad. Meant nothing." Merlin said.

"Meant something I think." Harry replied.

"It meant nothing. And the mission is scrubbed." Merlin yelled. "I am going back to keep an eye on him. Use the spare room, just in case I need help, in case of any problems."

"Of course." Harry said quietly.

*****************************

In the morning Eggsy woke, with the worst hangover ever.

And alone.

He went and had a shower and put on some sweats. Eggsy made his way to the kitchen where Merlin and Harry were both typing away, empty plates beside them.

"Well I feel like shite." Eggsy said. He moved in front of Merlin, but Merlin didn't make room. Instead the man stood.

"I'll get ye a plate, food should help." Merlin pulled the kept warm plate from the oven and put it in front of a chair. Eggsy got the hint and sat alone. He ate slowly.

"So, we get anything off the tie pin?" He asked.

"Aye, it is security codes, and some very good blackmail material on certain politicians." Merlin said, working on his computer.

"When we go back, we need to get behind that panel." Eggsy said, thinking out loud.

Harry looked at him. "No, you don't. The mission is over."

"No it ain't. We rescued intel sure, but we don't got the people behind it. Need to get them."

"Nae. After what happened last night, intel is good and the mission is scrubbed." Merlin said.

"Like hell it is. We need to finish the job." Eggsy said.

"They drugged you Eggsy." Merlin said.

"Not like it's the first time. Hell probably similar to what you drugged me with during training." Eggsy said. "We ain't done."

"We are. And an anonymous tip about their actions has been dropped to Scotland Yard. Ye were compromised and we are done." Merlin growled.

"Yeah, I was compromised and I still managed to make shit happen." Eggsy said standing.

Harry looked at the two of them and quietly left them room.

"Ye did, and I am so proud of you for that, but" Merlin tried to think of what to say.

Eggsy thought about how he fell apart, about everything he said to Merlin. God he wished he didn't remember it, but he did. "But you think I'm in too deep, that I'm a liability now."

"Nae." Merlin tried.

"It was just the drugs talking, it don't mean fuck all." Eggsy said. He willed Merlin to believe him.

"Of course." Merlin agreed. He knew Eggsy didn't really want to be his. "But the fact of the matter is, this whole mission is now too...compromised to go on."

"You mean, you don't think I can handle my shit. That everything I babbled means I can't do my goddamn job, after everything I've done." Eggsy glared at Merlin. "You don't trust me."

"No." Merlin said sternly. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"Well then tell me the fucking truth. Why are we pulling out?"

Merlin didn't say anything.

"See?" Eggsy stood. "Fuck, knew you saw me as less than, knew behind the good talk, you were just like the fucking rest. And fuck me for thinking anything else."

Merlin's jaw dropped at that. How could that be what Eggsy was taking away from all this? Merlin stood and tried to approach Eggsy. "Jaimie." He said, reaching out a hand.

Eggsy flinched away. "Brogues." He said. "Brogues." He repeated. Merlin's hand dropped.

Eggsy walked away and Merlin did not follow. 

 


	10. Bad Choices

Eggsy wondered how long he had been in the shower. He was shivering should he be shivering? When the shower started it hurt it was so hot, did he get so hot that it snapped around into cold? Water was starting to hurt too, which was weird should water hurt? He should turn it off, but standing seemed like work. And then he wondered why he was sitting in the shower.

He heard footsteps, he should get a knife or gun. He just lay his head on his wet pajama bottoms and closed his eyes. Whatever.

The water turned off and Eggsy felt a towel come around his shoulders.

"Eggsy." Merlin said softly. He leaned down and picked Eggsy up.

"It wasn't the same." Eggsy said. "It wasn't the same." He tried to burrow into the warmth of the towel of Merlin, before Merlin realized how bad Eggsy had been.

"Shh." Merlin said. He took Eggsy to the bedroom and tried him off and took the sodden bottoms off. He wrapped Eggsy in his blankets and got up. Eggsy whimpered. "I'm just getting tea, I'll be back shortly."

Eggsy heard him leave and figured it was a lie but less than ten minutes later Merlin was back with a cuppa and some biscuits. Merlin settled against the headboard and pulled Eggsy up in front of him and fed him a cookie and the tea slowly, humming a little.

Finally Eggsy just sort of leaned back against him. "I think the job ruined me for bathroom sex." 

Merlin laughed. "I know the bar ye were at, those are not the worst bathrooms."

Eggsy shook his head. "I think the job we did ruined me for bathroom sex." He repeated and willed Merlin to understand what he meant.

"Oh." Merlin said quietly. "Ye need to rest Eggsy, ye dropped hard and alone."

Eggsy nodded. "You'll stay?" He asked.

"I'll stay." Merlin agreed. He ran his hands through Eggsy's hair and the last thing Eggsy heard before he fell asleep was, "I'm so sorry my beautiful boy."

******************************

_Earlier that week_

Eggsy sat in Harry's office. He tapped fingers against his thigh. "We shouldn't have left the job undone. Merlin were wrong about me being compromised."

Harry looked at him. "This was a case of the job was done enough, agent."

"I could handle it!" Eggsy protested. "Why do you think me so weak? Come on Harry, why are you siding with him on this?" Eggsy began to pace a little. "Yeah we got a lot of intel but we didn't get the seller and now they'll be in the wind."

"And they'll resurface and we'll find them. It will take them months to create new contacts, new resources which allows MI-5 time to button up holes."

Eggsy threw up his hands. "Harry, I can do my job, it really weren't a big deal that they drugged me."

Harry glared. "Agent, it may have not been a big deal for you, but perhaps it was for the dozen other unsuspecting subs in the room. You are important agent, make no mistake, but perhaps you can widen your view and realize that it is not just about you." Harry's voice was hard, clipped. "Merlin and I pulled the plug on the mission for several reasons, not the least was because innocent people were being harmed and that is unacceptable to witness are participate in for a Kingsman agent if there is a way they can stop it."

Eggsy reared back in shock at Harry's tone. "Harry, I -"

"No. The Galahad I know, would never leave people to suffer if they didn't have to, you were the one to point out how wrong that club was. So use your brain and see the bigger picture." Harry said. "We didn't complete the mission as we hoped, but we did complete a large portion of it, and in the process shut down a place that was drugging people without their consent and we've dropped as many anonymous tips to the subs as we could identify to let them know what had been happening to them. You say you weren't compromised but Merlin and I agree you were to an extent." Eggsy was ready to protest but Harry just kept talking. "And so was Merlin. Again not all about you, after that experience he didn't feel capable of continuing the mission. It is done. And we will now move on. You have two weeks before I put you back on the roster use them wisely." Eggsy opened his mouth. "Dismissed agent." Harry said.

"Yes sir." Eggsy said. He went to the gym and destroyed a fighting stand.

 

Merlin's meeting didn't go much better. "Harry, I apologize for pulling the plug on the mission."

Harry just put his head down on the desk. "No, no I'm done with the drama."

"I beg yer pardon, when do I deal in drama?" Merlin was affronted.

"When you decide to not admit you fell in love with Eggsy somewhere along the way in this fuck up of a situation." Harry said. "You had to pull the plug on the mission - it was the right thing to do. We had a partial win, which sometimes is enough. We will file the paperwork and be done with that aspect of it, like any other situation. And now we get to deal with all the other fallout."

"There will be no fallout. We are both professionals who will compartmentalize what happened and go about the job." Merlin said stiffly.

"You fucking love the boy." Harry said. "And he loves you."

"He's a good actor for the mission. It was affection for someone showing him how it could be, and now he'll go and find someone to actually care about."

"I put you on this mission on purpose to help you two sort yourselves." Harry admitted.

"What?" Merlin's voice went soft, dangerous.

"You two were pining, staring at each other like the other was a last meal and all you wanted was to take a bite. When this came across my desk, I thought good, we can finally get them sort, they'll fuck and then everything will be right as rain." Harry sighed. "Only it turned out there were feelings. Didn't count on actual feelings. And now my quartermaster and one of my best agents are messed up."

"Arthur." Merlin stood and leaned his hands on the desk. "I will be taking a leave of absence."

"Why?"

"Because if I stay here, I will kill ye." Merlin said. "I will work a little from home, but fuck if I'll look at you the same ever again."

"Merlin, I just wanted you happy. I wanted him happy. If you just talked, you would be happy together. The happy ever after sort, with more nudity." Harry tried for a smile and failed. "For what it is worth. I am sorry."

"For what it is worth, sir, I do not give a fuck." Merlin replied and he stalked out of the office.

"Well, shit." Harry said aloud. That went worse than he thought it would.

 

It went even worse when Merlin and Eggsy ran into each other in the hall. Eggsy's blood was up from the gym, and Merlin was feeling cornered thanks to Harry's revelation. "Agent Galahad." Merlin said formally as he tried to continue on his way.

"That's it?" Eggsy said.

Merlin paused. "What would ye like me to say, ye made it clear I'm supposed to stay away from you."

"An apology?" Eggsy asked.

Merlin's glare was molten. "What do ye think I have to apologize for?"

"Not trusting me to do the job?" Eggsy replied. "Not letting me help be a part of the decision making process for a mission that I had worked on just as hard as you? Thought we were fucking partners and then you just act like judge, jury, and executioner."

"I did what I did to protect my partner." Merlin crowded him a little. "Say you had been lead on the mission and Roxy had been acting the sub. If she was drugged unknowingly, ye are saying you wouldn't have had Harry pull you both out right away?"

"That's not the point!" Eggsy said, sticking his chin out. "You and I are different and you know it."

"How, how are we different, because it was a mission wasn't it? Just a mission." Merlin said. "Tell me how we are different?" Merlin's voice was cold, flat. He was so busy protecting his own heart, he didn't think of how he sounded to Eggsy.

Eggsy paled a little at having his worst thoughts confirmed. "Right just a mission. My apologies for my dramatics."

"I am for home, I'll not be in for the next week or so. I would imagine upon my return we will be back to colleagues." Merlin tried not to sound broken at the thought.

"Sure, guv. That was always the plan." Eggsy smirked, destroyed. "I got places to be myself." He gave Merlin a salute and headed out.

***************************

Patrick sat at a table and watched that sub of Merlin's try to drink the whole bar. He was still pissed about their encounter at the club but had been willing to let it go until he saw the smug kid again. Though he didn't seem so smug now. Patrick smiled and pulled out his phone and texted a couple doms he knew that there was a very pretty sub sitting at the bar of the Prince Charles who was looking awfully lonely. Within half an hour a guy he knew showed up. Patrick pointed at the bar and the man looked over and smiled. He dropped 50 pounds on Patrick's table as a thank you for the tip and went to the bar and bought Merlin's sub another whiskey.

Patrick made sure they were looking awfully cozy, the man running his fingers through the sub's hair, tugging it a little before he decided to go pay Merlin a visit.

 

Merlin for his part was burying himself in work at home and had forgotten to eat, and was trying hard not to think. When he heard his bell ring, he for a second hoped it might be Eggsy, but figured it was more likely Harry trying to meddle again. Merlin knew by the end of the week he would forgive Harry for meddling, because Harry meant well and hadn't been wrong about Merlin, just about Eggsy.

He opened the door, ready to yell a bit, when he realized it was Patrick holding a six pack. "Hi darling, saw your sub getting frisky at the Prince Charles and thought ye might need some company." Patrick smiled, looking as charming as ever.

Merlin winced. He had no right to be upset at Eggsy getting a leg over at a bar, they weren't a couple. No matter how it had felt Eggsy wasn't his. He looked at the beer and at Patrick. Having him in would be a very stupid idea. "Come on then." Merlin opened the door wider.

 

Eggsy was kneeling in the stall in the bathroom and he fucking hated it. But the guy was tugging his hair and that felt good. He tried to block out being called filthy things and focused on the cock in front of him. He rather wished the guy hadn't taken a piss right before this started. "Let me just get a paper towel." Eggsy said.

The guy smacked him a little, which made Eggsy dizzy due to the lack of food and fuck ton of booze in his system. "How bout you do your job like a good little boy and suck daddy's cock?" He tugged Eggsy's hair. "Come on, you look like you could use it. Make me feel good boy and then we'll get out of here and I'll send you flying. Promise, now be good for daddy." He gave another light smack and tugged Eggsy's hair and that felt good at least and Eggsy got to work.

 

Merlin had three beers and was feeling them. He was also trying to figure out how Patrick ended up in his lap. Kissing him felt awful in comparison to kissing Eggsy. Merlin pushed him away and off his lap and stood up. "Sorry Patrick not in the mood. Ye don't really want me anyways." Merlin said, remembering their break up. "What is this about? A quick drunk fuck? Ye can get that anywhere."

Patrick shrugged. "Seeing you with that boy made me remember the good stuff, the fun bits. Wanted another taste. Figured maybe you've stepped up your game a little."

"No I'm the same in my tastes." Merlin looked at him, head clearing a bit as he focused. "Is this about that night at the club?"

Patrick stilled a little. "Of course it is, realized how gorgeous you still are."

"No you realized I had found someone more gorgeous than you. Someone that I was gone over, in a way that I never was for you, and you decided what?" Merlin asked.

Patrick stood and got his coat. "What does it matter, you are broken up and he's having a grand time with the friend of mine I called to the pub. He couldn't have thought much of you if he's already getting drunk and a pub and happily falling over one of my Doms that I have a hook in."

"Did ye pimp my boy out? Did ye set up a drunk lad to be taken by one of your shitty doms you like to pretend you secretly control?" Merlin's voice was a low growl.

"I made some calls, he made the choice to hook up. That's on him not me." Patrick said. "He's as trashy as he looks." And Patrick found himself face first in the wall, arm bent back at a punishing angle.

"The only reason I do not kill ye right here and now, is the paperwork would be a bitch." Merlin took too much pleasure in dislocating Patrick's shoulder. "Ye forget you ever knew me and you forget him entirely. And if he is truly hurt in anyway, I'll be coming for you. Get out of my sight."

Patrick was crying in agony but quickly left.

Merlin sat on the couch and dialed Eggsy's number there was no response. Fuck. He called a Kingsman car.

***********************

Eggsy walked into his flat, stiffly. The man had been very enthusiastic with his belt, less so with prep. It had felt good for a moment, for a bit he forgot everything. But now, now he could feel the come on his back, the stiffness that would take a couple days to fade, and the alcohol wanting to leave his system. He managed to make it to the bathroom at least before he threw up on himself. He crawled to the toilet and stayed there until it was dry heaves. He looked at himself, he was so disgusting. He stripped out of his clothes and pulled a pair of pajama bottoms from the hamper. He pulled himself up and looked in the mirror. He looked so wrecked. He had a glass of water, thought he should eat a little something, but that just made his stomach revolt again. He sat on the ground and looked blearily around the room.

It had felt good and then it felt horrible.

It hadn't felt like Merlin at all.

And he didn't get to have Merlin again. Merlin didn't really want him.

Eggsy began to weep. He shivered a little.

A shower. A really hot shower would be good right now. It would fix it. Or at least hide how bad it was.

He turned on the water and sat under the spray.

 


	11. Hearts Ache, Heart Heal

Merlin didn't sleep. He couldn't. Eggsy didn't look terribly hurt, some ill done marks from a belt, but nothing that had Merlin dragging him to medical. Eggsy had two nightmares in the night though and Merlin sang him back to sleep each time. Merlin finally drifted off towards dawn when Eggsy seemed truly settled. They got maybe a couple hours of sleep then before Eggsy's stomach rebelled and he had to run to the bathroom to throw up. There wasn't a lot left after last night and it was a lot of dry heaves.

Merlin followed him in and wet a flannel. He crouched and wiped Eggsy's face. 

"Fuck off bruv." Eggsy groaned as there were a few more dry heaves.

"No." Merlin said. He sat beside Eggsy on the ground. 

"I told you to fuck off." Eggsy said, managing a weak glare.

"Nae, I did that already and made things so much worse." Merlin wiped his face again.

"Brogues." Eggsy tried.

Merlin visibly flinched, but he didn't move. "Sorry Eggsy, but you aren't my sub any more, mission is done, so that means little anymore."

"Right the mission, the crapped well fucked up mission because you decided I couldn't deal." Eggsy said bitterly.

Merlin looked at him. "Why do ye insist on that version of what happened so very much?"

"Because it's the fucking truth isn't it?" Eggsy said. "Because you decided I was useless." Eggsy looked around. "And we are not having this talk on the floor of the loo. I'm going to shower, stay or piss off I don't really care." Eggsy pushed himself up and got the water running. Merlin was still on the floor. "Waiting for the show?" He stripped down and stood in front of Merlin. "There have another good look then. Hell I'll even wank for you if you want." Eggsy's voice is hard as he wraps a hand around his soft cock.

"Are ye hurt anywhere?" Merlin asked, angling his head so that he's looking up at Eggsy's face. "Do you need me to take ye to medical?"

The bluster fell out of Eggsy a little. "No, stings some, but I know well enough what needs attention and what doesn't. This will be fine in a couple days." He stepped into the shower.

"I'll make tea and some food." Merlin said as he stood. "And for the record Eggsy, it was never you that compromised the mission, it was never that I thought you couldn't deal. I was the one compromised. I was the one who could nae see it through. My apologies for not being strong enough." Merlin left Eggsy in peace.

Eggsy stared after Merlin in shock. He hadn't expected that at all. He stayed under the spray and tried to figure it out, but eventually the smell of a fry up reached him and he got out of the water. He put on sweats and a t-shirt and went to his small kitchen. He watched Merlin cook and took the coffee cup that was offered to him. He sat at the table and a plate was put in front of him. He ate slowly, relieved when he stomach decided it was done hating him. When they finished Merlin rinsed the plates and left them in the sink. He reached for the fry pan.

"Stop." Eggsy said quietly. Merlin put it back down on the stove. He didn't turn around though. "Merlin, why are you saying you were compromised, why are you apologizing for not being strong enough? I cocked it up - that's what happened."

"No." Merlin stared out the tiny kitchen window. "No that is what you think. What actually happened was that a mission came up that Harry felt we were perfect for, not for the least because it would help us deal with all our sexual tension that had been driving the office mental."

Eggsy was happy that Merlin wasn't looking at him as he started to fidget and turn red. "What sexual tension?" He tried to bluster.

"I've wanted ye since I pulled the cord on your parachute." Merlin said as he finally turned around. "I've wanted ye over my knee, ass pink from my hand since that moment."

"Oh." Eggsy stared at his table. "I've wanted you less than that. The plane ride home from Valentine's base. Roxy fell asleep and I was just so wired. I thought the sex with the Princess would help kill some of my adrenaline, but it didn't. And you talked to me, about plants of all things. But it helped and you told me, you said, "It will nae get easier, find a release, if ye don't, you'll explode and not in a fun way." And you had this look as you said it and all I could think was you could be my release." Eggsy laughed to himself. "Didn't think you would ever want someone like me though." He looked at Merlin. "Or if you did it would be a drunken one night stand."

Merlin sat across from Eggsy. "Nae, you were always going to be more for me." He took a breath. "I couldn't bear to see you drugged by that club. To see them try to pull you down, you who had been so beautiful for me, so perfect as a sub. A dream really once we found a rhythm together. And they wanted to make you common."

"I am common." Eggsy said.

Merlin smiled. "No. Many, many things lad, both good and bad. But never,  _never_ , common."

“So you pulled the plug on the mission because what, during it you had fallen desperately in love with me, and couldn’t bear to see me suffer?” Eggsy asked.

“Something to that effect, aye.” Merlin agreed.

“Well fuck you then Duncan.” Eggsy glared at him.

"What?" Merlin was stunned.

Eggsy stood. "Fuck you for feeling that and not telling me, and fuck you for letting your feelings interfere in a mission without telling me, asking me. What if we decided to be in a real relationship? What would happen, I'd only get soft easy missions, no matter if they suited my skills? Would you wrap me up in a soft blanket and lock me away?" Eggsy slammed his tables down on the table. "Why would your love stifle me?"

Merlin looked at him and didn't say a word for a few moments. "The only part I'll take exception to there is the not telling you of my feelings. Your heart was as hidden as mine." He swallowed. "Unless I am wrong and ye were not feeling similar things."

"I shagged a fucking asshole who couldn't even hit with a belt right while so piss drunk I should be dead in an attempt to get over my feelings." Eggsy replied. "But you best believe we are setting that aside right now."

"Why? I should think us feeling a great deal for each other should matter the most." 

"No, because I'll kill the affection I have for you in a heartbeat, if you are going to use it to fuck me over, just like most people who have been in my bed have." Eggsy looked at him.

"I'm not like them." Merlin's voice was hard.

"No? Because it sounds like you got a picture of me in your head and changed the rules to make sure it stayed in place." Eggsy looked at him. "Funny thing, the last few weeks, you actually showed me my worth. More than the job, my friends, even Harry have ever done, and now? Now you are paying the piper for doing that." Eggsy took a breath. "I...I could want a relationship with you. I could want to be your sub, so fucking much Duncan. But if being in that means I lose out who the job and you have helped me become...then fuck my heart, I'll walk away." Eggsy's voice was resolute.

Merlin stared at him. "I cannae promise that I can separate the feelings from the work." He admitted.

"Then I guess I'll see you at work." Eggsy pointed at the door. "You can see yourself out."

Merlin nodded and left and went straight to Harry.

It was his turn to get utterly shit faced.

************

The next morning it was Harry who helped Merlin throw the last of the alcohol up. "So I take it I am forgiven."

"Shut up." Merlin groaned. 

"Nope. Because one I get to be smug and then two you are hurting and we are going to fix it." Harry said. He drew Merlin a bath. "Get in there and don't drown. I'll make you oatmeal."

Merlin crawled into the tub and stayed there just breathing in the scent of the oil Harry put in the water - it soothed his head. Harry came in with two bowls and sat on the ground. "Talk to me."

Merlin ate and in between bites told Harry of everything. Harry hmmmed and nodded as the story went along.

"I agree with Eggsy." Harry finally said.

"Thanks." 

"No really," Harry took a mouthful. "If you couldn't separate it, he would be right to walk away. You never had that problem with me."

"You were a shag, didn't love your fancy ass." Merlin muttered.

"Actually, to be fair you did love my fancy ass, the rest of me, not so much." Harry grinned. "It is a spectacular ass."

Merlin nodded in agreement. "I could love him Harry. I could give him everything."

"And what is the cost of that to him?" Harry asked quietly. "Love reshapes everyone, but the question is would yours reshape him into something less?"

"Don't be profound, it ill suits you." Merlin grumbled. "I want him to be Eggsy. The one who questions everything and is a giant pain in the ass, but also so sweet at my feet." Merlin looked at Harry and smiled slowly. "I don't want to keep him at home, I just want him kept while he is at home."

"Wonderful. Now you need to tell him that." Harry put his bowl down and took Merlin's. "You are getting pruney. Get out and go fix your relationship."

"It isn't a relationship. Not yet."

"Well go and make it one then." Harry was unfazed by Merlin's nitpicking.

Merlin pulled the plug on the tub.

**********************

Only he didn't get a chance. An emergency came up and Eggsy was sent to Jakarta. Merlin monitored the comms and lead Eggsy through to meet Tristan and watched as things went to hell. But he kept his cool. He never tried to keep Eggsy anymore safe than Tristan and in fact put him in harm's way once or twice. At the end they made it to the extraction point and Eggsy needed fifteen stitches on the plane.

Once Tristan was asleep, Eggsy tapped his glasses. "So, didn't coddle me."

"Nae." Merlin agreed.

"Guess maybe when I'm back we should have another talk."

"I'll look forward to. Take your painkillers like a good boy." Merlin watched as Eggsy's pupils dilated a little. He said softly. "That collar I gave ye, was not about the mission. I bought that hoping to one day give it to someone who mattered. Who would stay."

Eggsy's breath hitched but he didn't respond and turned off his glasses.

The next day Eggsy knocked on Merlin's door and Merlin let him in. Eggsy looked around. "Nice place."

"Thank ye." Merlin said. "Tea?"

"Sure." Eggsy agreed and they had a cuppa and sat and talked of nothing important for a time. Eggsy put his cup down. "So what now?"

"Rather think that isn't in my hands right now." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "Ye are the one with the power right now."

"I am?" Eggsy asked.

"Aye. Ye were the one to set the parameters of the potential of a relationship. I am just following that lead."

Eggsy rolled his eyes. "And now you talk without a stick up your ass."

Merlin smiled. "I wouldn't try to stop you from your work. Ye are a brilliant agent Eggsy, truly gifted at the job and to take that away from ye I would be a monster. I would see us be professional in the office."

"And not at the office?"

"Well that would need to be figured out." Merlin said after a moment.

Eggsy looked at him. "I really have the power right now?"

"You do." 

"What if I said I wanted to fuck you? That I wanted to be completely in charge?" Eggsy was really curious about this.

Merlin held out his hands. "What would you like me to call you?"

"Eggsy I want us to have sex and hear you say my name." 

"Eggsy, I would very much like you to fuck me." Merlin's voice was thick.

Eggsy shuddered a little. "Okay that was hotter than it should be." He looked Merlin up and down. "Undress slowly."

Merlin stood and methodically stripped down. He folded everything he took off and after a bit stood in front of Eggsy completely bare. Eggsy swallowed heavily looking at all that beautiful skin. "You are so fucking gorgeous." Eggsy said. He opened his mouth and realized that he couldn't say anything. It felt wrong to order Merlin about. But he still wanted a bit of power.

Luckily Merlin understood. "Do you order me to touch myself?"

"Yes." Eggsy breathed out, relieved. "That. Do that."

Merlin drew his hand slowly down his body, from neck to groin before going back up again. He did this a few times until he finally wrapped a hand around his cock and began to slowly stroke. "Now, I expect you want me to show you to my bedroom and then undress you?" Eggsy nodded and went where Merlin guided him. Merlin stood Eggsy by his bed and undressed him. "Would you suggest I kiss you Eggsy?" Eggsy has completely lost his voice and nods.

Merlin cups Eggsy's face and kisses him slowly, softly. "I will never get tired of the taste of ye."

Eggsy shuddered a little. "More."

"Yes Eggsy." Merlin agreed and he kissed Eggsy some more. Merlin pushed them onto the bed and then kept kissing him, biting at his neck and shoulder. "Eggsy would you like to order me to suck your cock?"

"Jesus please." Eggsy called out. Merlin worked his way down Eggsy's body and began to lick and suck his cock, making Eggsy's moan. Merlin kept this up until Eggsy babbled curse words.

"Now tell me Eggsy, would you order me to work myself open, make my body ready so that ye can fuck me hard?" Eggsy whimpered at those words and Merlin took that as a yes. He grabbed some lube from his nightstand and began to quickly work himself open while he continued to suck Eggsy's cock. He moved quickly getting himself barely ready. He put a condom on Eggsy and added a little more lube. "Tell me Eggsy, which one of us do you want on our backs?"

Eggsy finally remembered how to use words. "You, want to fuck you hard." 

Merlin smiled. "Good lad."

Eggsy blinked and pulled Merlin up and twisted so that he was on top of the older man. "I'll show you good." He lined up and pushed into Merlin. They both groaned at how it felt. "Jesus did you do any prep?" Eggsy asked. "Fucking vise."

"Enough." Merlin replied as he breathed out. It was hovering on the edge of the wrong sort of pain, but never quite tipped over. "May have forgotten that ye are a little bigger."

Eggsy gave him a few moments to relax. "Going to go now." He said before he started to move his hips. After a few testing thrusts, Eggsy let go and fucked Merlin hard. Putting all his frustration and confusion into the act. Merlin arched up to meet Eggsy's thrusts, but Eggsy's hands pushed him down. "My ride. You are just along for it. Be a good boy and you can come." 

Merlin's breath stopped. "God Eggsy ye are fucking perfect. I can take whatever you have."

Eggsy just completely let go and later he would wish it had lasted longer, but it just felt to good. He lasted a few minutes, before he froze as the orgasm crashed into him. "Touch yourself." Eggsy groaned out. 

Merlin quickly wanked and it wasn't long before he had a mess all over him. Eggsy caught his breath and eased out of Merlin. He went to the bathroom and came back with a flannel. He cleaned them both up and collapsed on the bed next to Merlin. "That was awesome."

"Aye, lad." Merlin agreed. "You like being in charge?"

Eggsy snorted. "Sure totally was in control of the situation there." He rolled his eyes. "Don't think I'll ever really be the one in charge in a bed with the two of us."

They lay there in silence. "Well Eggsy are we in a relationship?" Merlin asked as he looked at his ceiling.

"No."

"Oh." Merlin couldn't say more.

Eggsy turned his head. "But, you could take me on a first date, you know. If you wanted to." Eggsy held out his hand and Merlin took it.

"I want to." Merlin agreed. "A first date would be a very good thing."


	12. One Year Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we end this story. I hope that you've enjoyed it :)

_One Year Later_

Eggsy was dressing very carefully. Tonight was important, more important than any date he had had before. He shaved carefully and put on the aftershave that Merlin had put in his christmas stocking. He wiggled his toes which had a bronze pedicure - he had to admit that while he still hated the idea of make up or lacy underwear, he loved having his toes painted. He made his way to his bedroom and pouted a little, wishing Merlin was there, but the man had wanted to meet him at the club.

_Their club._

Six months ago they had started going to  _The Black Gardens_ at least once a month. It had never had that heady feeling of that first time on the dance floor, but it was welcoming, comfortable. Eggsy never felt ashamed there and it removed the bad taste of the mission club from his mouth.

They had even made a few friends that they had gone to a footie match with, and another couple they met at a pub for trivia night. Eggsy grinned, somehow he had ended up in a proper relationship.

He looked at his clothes and settled on a black suit with a modern cut, a light blue shirt and no tie. The watch he put on was also a Christmas gift from Merlin.

Merlin's gift had been Eggsy getting his nipples pierced. 

Eggsy finished getting ready and left his flat, not surprised that a Kingsman car was waiting for him. 20 minutes later it pulled up in front of the club and he told the driver, he'd be leaving with Merlin and not to wait. The driver winked and pulled away. 

Eggsy checked in at the front and made a little small talk. "He's already checked in and is waiting for you Eggsy." The doorman grinned. "Have a good night."

Eggsy took a deep breath and went into the club. He looked around the main bar and didn't see Merlin. He went and got himself a scotch and sipped it at the bar, nodding to some, smiling a little at someone who was clearly a new sub and nervous. He went over and said hello. 

"Promise, this is a good place, safe one." His voice was low.

"Really?" She asked. "He said it was nice but, there are a lot of people and it is bright and..." Her voice trailed off.

"Bright means nothing bad hiding in dark corners. My dom hates places that don't take care of subs." Eggsy reached into his pocket. "My card if you ever need to talk."

"You wouldn't mind? I'm just so new and - oh my." Her face went a little slack and she squeaked a little. "Security, we should call security."

"Bald guy, really intense? Walking to us with purpose?" Eggsy asked cheerfully.

She nodded.

"Yeah he's a patron here and my dom. Trust me he's a kitty cat."

"Well ye do make me purr well enough when you are a good lad." Merlin said hearing the last of it. He came up right behind Eggsy and Eggsy leaned back into him. Merlin bent his head and kissed Eggsy's neck. "Ye look beautiful Eggsy."

"Thanks babe. Dance?" Eggsy asked. Merlin nodded and wrapped a hand around Eggsy's neck and pulled him away and down to the dance floor. They danced for awhile, Merlin never letting Eggsy go.

Eggsy grinned at the feeling. "I think I fell in love with you on this dance floor. Jesus seeing you move like that? I was sunk."

Merlin pulled back a little. "Really?"

"Really." Eggsy pulled Merlin's head down a bit for a hard kiss. "Want to ruin my trousers the way you did that night? I skipped pants." Eggsy said.

Merlin growled a little and nipped at Eggsy's neck. "I had something else in mind for tonight, but what ye just said changed my mind."

"Oh?" Eggsy was really curious, it took a fair bit to change Merlin's course when it came to what they did together.

"Aye." The music slowed into a slow beat, sinuous that moved through the dancers. Merlin turned Eggsy so that Eggsy's back was lined to his chest. Merlin swayed to the music and Eggsy let himself be moved along. There was nothing better than letting Merlin guide him.

He knew that some people liked to watch them on the dance floor and he never minded, but a couple of regulars had this extra bit to their gaze tonight. One even blew him a kiss.

"What's going on sir?" Eggsy asked.

"This." Merlin said. His hands drew up Eggsy's chest and held something up.

The collar from their mission.

Over the last year they had done so much, explored their relationship and what they wanted from it but Merlin had never mentioned the collar. And Eggsy had never asked. But now it was dangling in front of his eyes.

"I was going to ask you to wear this in one of the private rooms after we played a little, but this felt a little more fitting. Last time I gave this to ye was in the middle of play, in the middle of so many lies. Now I am asking ye, with nothing standing between us, out here in the open. Eggsy will ye wear my collar?" 

Eggsy looked at the small quiver in Merlin's fingers.

"Yeah." Eggsy smiled as he looked at the strip of leather. "Duncan sir, please I want to wear your collar. Please?" Eggsy sighed as the leather went around his neck and Merlin secured the strap.

A rousing cheer went up from those watching on the dance floor. Eggsy ignored them and turned in Merlin's arms. The song ended with no space between the two men.

"So what did you have in mind for that private room?" Eggsy asked. 

"Would ye really like to know?"

"Yes sir, very much." Eggsy bit his lip. "I want to make you as happy as you just made me."

"Ye do that every day lad. My beautiful boy, my amazing lad." Merlin held his chin steady. "Ye are mine now Eggsy."

"Thank you sir." Eggsy pressed against Merlin to let him feel how hard all of this had made Eggsy. "Private room?"

Merlin's grin was wicked. "Come along lad. Let us go have some proper fun."

Merlin left the dance floor and Eggsy eagerly followed.


End file.
